Hamilton Oneshots!

Too Deep {KGIII x Reader}

my first oneshot with kg and guess who's feeling the angst bcuz mistakes were made

pairing; george frederick x reader

time; modern

warnings; break-up

type of oneshot; very angsty

requested?; nope

guess who's channeling her inner thoughts rn g r e a t

-––

"I've dug myself into too deep of a hole to rescue whatever we have left."

Your POV

We all have bad days. We all have bad thoughts. We all have bad moments. But what happens when one thing leads to another, and next thing you know you've buried yourself in too deep?

I didn't mean for any of it to happen, I really didn't. I was so worried about us in the first place. I was worried I'd say or do something. For being so worried, it went and happened anyways. So what did that make me?

Mean? Selfish? A complete dick? An unsatisfied brat?

I still loved George, I really did, and I hated how blissfully unaware he was of my internal battle.

But I had to talk to him. He deserved to know.

~

"It's not... it's not your fault... I promise...

I couldn't find my voice. I couldn't find it in my heart because, just maybe, I'm selfish. Maybe I'm a complete dick. I got myself into problems. I dug myself into a damn hole too deep to climb out of.

I've dug myself too deep a hole to rescue whatever we have left. I thought I could handle things, but I guess I couldn't.

I told you from the start I was worried. I was so worried about fucking things up that I did it anyways. Yet you trusted me anyways and told me not to worry. You told me I wouldn't do anything wrong, but look now."

My voice was breaking, but I kept talking, occasionally glancing up at George's lost blue eyes.

"I wish I could've kept things right, love. I really do. I wish I could be a normal person and live the wonderful relationship we had. I love you, I do.

But you don't deserve me. You don't deserve this. You're too wonderful a person to have to deal with this. You need to find someone who makes you happy, who you can enjoy one-hundred percent of your life with, anytime. But I don't think that person is me anymore..."

I couldn't bear looking him in the eyes now. Now that I had came clean.

"I'm sorry I took whatever happiness or trust you had of me, and broke it. I hope you can find it in your heart to keep me somewhat in your life."

By now my voice was already broken as tears streamed down my face. My hands clenched into fists on my lap and my eyes shut tightly as more tears escaped. Everything felt wrong. And it was my fault.

"I'm sorry for digging too deep of a hole. I'm sorry for ruining something that could've continued being wonderful. I'm sorry for being a bitch. I'm sorry for making things complete shit. I'm sorry for being such a fuck up..."

-––

If someone ever reads this, and you might know who you are, I'm sorry love. I made mistakes and was too scared to admit them. I'm sorry for being a stupid girl