here without you

09

It's Friday. I should be happy, and I should look forward to the weekend like the rest of the students are. I say I should - and normally I would -, except today I don't.

The principal has announced a special assembly during last period which all students have to attend. He didn't mention what it was going to be about, but we still all know. Somehow one of us has found out, and news travel fast around this place. We have to come together because of what happened to Olive. They want to discuss mental health and raise awareness.

I feel nervous, and I'd rather not go. I know they're all going to stare at me. It's not like I'm not used to it; pretty much everyone stared at me after they found out my sister committed suicide. But lately, there have been less people staring, and I surely didn't mind.

Right now Nate and I are sitting outside, and he's trying to calm me down. He's worried about me because he knows how badly I don't want to go. He even proposed to skip the assembly together, but I said no. I know the teachers particularly want me to be there since I am sort of the reason why they are doing this in the first place.

The break is over, and we get up. We're just about to walk in when Nate stops and turns to me.

"If you want to, we could still leave," he says.

I shake my head. I feel too sick to form any words. He looks at me, trying to find something encouraging to say.

"It's going to be alright, Roze. You don't have to be worried about anything. I'll be next to you, the whole time."

I nod and try to give him a smile.

We enter the room. As we find a place to sit down, I feel others looking at me, murmuring. A few of them are even bold enough to point at me.

Nate and I sit down. He looks at me because just like me he has noticed that people are talking about me. I pull a face, trying to act as if I find the whole situation funny. But he knows me. He takes my hand and gives it a gentle squeeze which calms me a bit.

When everyone is present, Principal Kane steps forward, holding a microphone in his hand. He greets us and announces the purpose for our gathering, which is - as everyone already knew - to inform us about mental health.

"As most of you know, one of our students, Olive Foxton, recently passed away. It turns out she was struggling with mental health problems..."

Passed away... She fucking killed herself. Why don't you just put it like that?

My throat is as dry as paper, and my hands are sticky. When he mentions Olive, I feel my face turning hot. The whispers around me become louder, and I hear someone behind me saying the word psycho, followed by a laugh. It's the voice of a boy, and I recognise it. Mike Thomson. He's impertinent and always knows what exactly not to say.

This whole day is just awful, and his insensitive comment is the last thing I need now. It drives me insane. But before I can say or do anything myself, Nate wheels around. He stands up, which causes a lot of attention and the principal to pause his speech.

"What did you just say?"

His fists are clenched, and he looks as angry as I have rarely seen him.

"Say that again, and I'll make sure you regret it," Nate says, loud enough for everyone to hear it. I want him to stop, and at the same time I hope he won't.

"Psycho."

Mike's voice sounds as if he's enjoying the whole thing, and I see a disgusting smirk on his face. It happens fast. Nate's fist hits his face with a loud crack that makes him scream.