here without you

43

"Just tell me where we're going! Please, Roze."

"You're sounding like a little child, Jade."

I laugh, and she punches my shoulder.

"I told you I won't tell you," I say. "Besides, we're almost there. It's only about ten minutes more of driving."

"Ten minutes? That isn't exactly 'almost there'!"

During the rest of the way Jade tries to figure out where we're going. Her guesses go from something as simple as a restaurant to something as crazy as bungee jumping. Finally, we arrive. Jade looks out of the window, at the building.

"An art museum," she says. She doesn't sound unsatisfied, but she doesn't sound satisfied either. Her voice is rather neutral.

"It's not exactly bungee jumping, is it?"

"No, not exactly."

I look at her, but she is looking at the museum.

"You don't like it," I say, feeling some disappointment rising up in me. I try my best not to let it show.

Her head turns. She looks at me.

"Don't like it? That is not true."

She looks at the museum again, then at me. I realise she really isn't disappointed, but rather a little confused.

"It's just..." She closes her mouth, opens it. "You know, I've heard you're into art. And I always thought it's a little weird that you've never mentioned it to me."

"Well, I am a little weird, so..."

"Well, yes, you are a little weird. But you're my weird girlfriend - I'm supposed to know you."

She smiles a little. I look at the museum, then at her.

"I just never mentioned to you that I like art, because I..." I pause. I start a new sentence. "I used to love going here. I would go here at least once a week, but... I've stopped. I haven't been here since..."

"Since Olive has been gone."

I nod. "There were times she went with me. And there were times Nate went with me. He isn't a huge art lover, and she wasn't either. Neither of them liked it here as much as I did, but they would go with me anyway." I carefully look at Jade. "If you're not really into art, we don't have to go. We could just go somewhere else. It would be okay with me."

"Are you kidding? Of course we'll go. I might not be the biggest art lover, but I can see that this place means a lot to you. I want to go."

Although I told her something else, I was hoping she would say that. And something inside of me knew she would say that.

"You really want to go?"

"I really want to go."

She smiles at me, and I smile at her.

Jade and I leave the car and enter the museum. Since I have an annual ticket, I don't have to pay for myself, but I pay for Jade's ticket.

We enter the first room. I thought it would feel strange to be here again after such a long time, but it still feels familiar. We walk around, looking at the artworks. At first we're both silent, but then I start telling Jade about my opinion on some artworks, and what I like about them. I'm not sure she gets me, but she listens to me. Occasionally she says something too, but mostly it is me talking.

We're looking at a painting of sunflowers when Jade says, "I like this one."

"What do you like about it?"