here without you

13

At lunch break I finally get to see Nate, and I tell him what happened after Jade and I left the cafeteria. Of course, he knows what happened before since pretty much everyone does.

"It was really great of her standing up like that," he says. "I told you Jade is alright. And see? I was right."

"Of course you were. You always are, Nate." I roll my eyes.

Still, it doesn't mean Jade and I are best friends now. But I guess it does mean that I misjudged her, and that I really should give her a chance.

We stop talking about Jade because Nate changes the subject to basketball. When he mentions practice I remember something: Nate can't go to practice if he has detention. I bring it up to him, and he claims that it's fine to him, and that it's only a month without basketball.

"Are you trying to tell me that you don't mind? Because I know you do."

I see him trying not to look frustrated, but I know him too well. Basketball is one of the most important things to him. Without it, he's miserable.

"Well," he says, "it's not like I can do anything to change it."

"But I can. Let me talk to them, Nate. Please."

He looks at me, uncertain. I don't understand why he doesn't want me to. We both know I could do something about it, and I'd be more than happy to help him. So I ask him why.

"It's just..." He sighs. "I know you don't like this. I mean being treated differently just because you have a dead sister. That's what you said..."

For a second I don't know what to say. It's true, I really did say something like that to him. Somehow it just feels wrong to take advantage of having a dead sister. But isn't this different? Maybe not, but I still feel like it'd be the right thing to do. After all, I'm not helping myself - I'm helping others.

It's what I tell Nate. He seems unsure, but I'm persistent, and after a bit of arguing he gives in.

_____

So before class starts again, I go to the principal's office. I don't think too much about what I'm going to say. If there is one thing I'm good at, it's acting. When I'm acting I feel like a different person, and I can be pretty convincing at it. This won't be too difficult for me. I just have to pretend I'm the broken, fragile girl who just lost her sister. In a way, I don't even have to act - because isn't that who I am? I don't know if it's who I am, but I know that's who people think I am, at least most of them.

I knock at Principal Kane's office, and he tells me to come in. After Olive's suicide, I had to talk to him. Back then, he told me I could reach out to him if I ever needed anything. Yet when he sees me he still seems surprised. But he quickly puts on a different face, one which looks friendly.

"Miss Foxton! What can I do for you?"

He asks me to sit down, which I do.

"I just wanted to talk to you about something that happened last week, Sir."

I tell him about the fight Nate and Mike had and try to make it as clear as possible to him that Nate's punishment is bothering me.

"...and now Nathanial Milton is getting a month of detention when he was only trying to help me. I just feel so... guilty." I bury my face in my hands, and I try to sound as miserable as I can. "I can't stop thinking that all of this is my fault..." I look up at Principal Kane. I'm pretty proud to say that I even manage to produce some tears.

He really seems to feel sorry for me. He assures me that none of it is my fault, and that I have no reason to feel guilty. Since that doesn't seem to make me feel better he says, "How about I reduce Mr Milton's punishment? I can't just let him off since he did hit another student. But let's say... one week instead of a month? Could that make you feel better?"

His face looks hopeful. I wipe off my tears and take a moment pretending to be thinking.

"Yeah... I think it might would," I say. "Thank you, Principal Kane."

He smiles at me, so I smile back at him. When I get up to leave, he repeats that I shouldn't feel guilty, and he says that I shouldn't hesitate to talk to him if anything is ever wrong again. I thank him and leave the room with a grin on my face.

_____

"I can't believe you did this."

School is over, and Nate and I are standing outside. I have just told him about the talk I had with the principal. He's beaming and thanks me for about the tenth time.

"You still have a week of detention. So if I was you, I wouldn't be that happy."

"Screw that! You managed to take away three weeks - how crazy is that?"

Nate checks the time on his phone and realises that he has to go to detention. He thanks me again, and we say goodbye. He heads back to the school, while I walk to my car, happy about being able to help my best friend.