here without you

52

The following days couldn't be any better. I do all sorts of things with Jade, like watching movies, visiting the zoo, or going shopping. We go to art museums, and we go to the basketball game, which I actually enjoy.

I draw a lot, mostly Jade. I'm using the book again, and I fill it with drawings of Jade. Her face, her eyes, her hands, her laugh, her body - her. I draw other things too. Stars, Blue, my iPod. The view from the rooftop and the view at the meadow. Nate playing basketball, and Jaxon rolling his eyes. I also draw pictures which don't show anything specific. I draw out my feelings; they come out as colours and strange messes which are - at least that is what Jade says - incredible and beautiful to look at.

I even do things with Jade which I normally don't like, for example cooking, or baking. When I do them with her, they somehow become the most fun things to do, just like everything else I do with her.

During the day we spend a lot of time at our favourite places, the meadow or the rooftop, and on most nights we fall asleep sharing the same bed. Jade reading me to sleep has turned into a habit, and maybe that is why my nightmares occur less often than they used to. On the rare times they do, Jade is always there to calm me down.

We talk, we laugh, and we have sex. Loads of insanely good sex that somehow seems to get better with each time. We act like two teenagers in love - or secretly in love. I still haven't told my parents about us, but Jade has joined some of our Fundays, and they ended up being actual Fundays. I have also joined some of the dinners at the Cadwells, who make me feel like I'm a part of their family.

It feels as though I'm living in a dreamy slow globe which is filled with only good things. For the first time I feel genuinely happy, and life seems as good as it has never been before.

And then comes that one day when the snow globe starts cracking, and things start changing.

_____

I open the door. In front of me is standing Jade, a cup of coffee in her hand and a smile on her face. She holds out the coffee to me, so I take it.

"You got me coffee? Jade, I fucking love you."

I see her smile turning wider. She steps inside, and we go up to my room to get my bag. I pick it up, and I see Jade looking at me, her eyebrows raised a little, almost surprised.

"You seem happy."

Why is she this surprised?

"Well, maybe that's because I am."

She looks at me for a second before saying, "Even though today is..."

"...that maths test? Believe it or not, I actually think I won't even do too bad."

Her face changes from surprise to amusement. "With your maths skills? Or rather non-existent maths skills? I wouldn't be so sure about that, Roze."

"Oh shut up." I roll my eyes, grinning. "How about you stop making fun of me and give me my good morning kiss?"

She grins back at me. She steps over to me and kisses me. She's about to draw her face away again, when I pull her closer, one of my hands holding her face.

"Roze -" I kiss her, and I know she's smiling. "Roze!" She gently pushes me away. "If we don't go right now, we'll be late. And we can't be late, because of your test."