here without you

25

I'm in my room, getting ready for Evan's party. Nate is sitting on my bed, scrolling on his phone. He came over, but he's going to drive to the party in his own car since I'm going with Tyler.

Normally, I prefer not wearing much makeup. On some days, I don't wear any. Right now, however, I'm applying dark, blood-red, striking lipstick. I look at the mirror, checking my makeup and outfit. My skirt is too short and my makeup too heavy, but I tell myself I look good enough - and I don't know if I'm telling myself good enough for Tyler, or good enough for Jade.

I'm not sure I even want to go to that party, especially with Tyler. The only reason why I have decided to go anyway is so that I can shove it into Jade's face that I am going with Tyler. I'm not sure what that means: Do I just want to show her I meant it, or is it something else?

"Are you sure you want to go like that?" Nate looks at me. "You kinda look like a slutty version of Snow White."

"Thanks."

He laughs. "You don't even need that much makeup. Or any."

I turn around to him, smiling.

"Well, I just want to make sure I look good." As a joke I add, "For Tyler."

Nate doesn't laugh. Instead, he frowns and asks, "Why are you even going with him? Do you like him?"

I shrug. I can't answer either of these questions.

"Instead of worrying about my love life, you should be worrying about yours," I say. "Don't you think it's time to ask out Stephanie Wilson? I noticed how you look at her."

For some reason Nate has always fallen for the wrong girls. I didn't like any of his girlfriends, and neither did they like me. Most of them weren't serious with him, or jealous because he's so close with me.

Stephanie is one of Jade's friends, and I'm pretty sure Nate has a crush on her. He isn't a shy person, so I find it rather strange that he hasn't tried asking her out yet. It probably means he really likes her.

"Stephanie? I don't know... I don't think I'm her type."

"Please, you're every girl's type, Nate."

It's true. He's caring, funny, and it's easy to talk to him. And, his face is just as gorgeous as his personality. Everything about Nate would make him a perfect boyfriend. I'd date him myself, except I don't and can't see him that way. He's always been my best friend, so I ended up falling for Jack. And now? Well, I don't exactly know who I like now.

"You should ask her out," I say. "I'm serious."

"Okay, but only if you explain your sudden interest in Tyler to me."

I say nothing.

"You should be careful, Roze. Guys tend to only want that one thing if you walk around with a face like yours."

"I guess that's not my charming personality then..."

"What charming personality?"

I throw a pillow at him, which he easily catches.

"But maybe you're right. Maybe I should simply not go out with guys."

"Yeah, maybe you shouldn't," Nate says. "Maybe you should go out with a girl instead."

It takes a moment of staring at him, before I let out a laugh, trying to cover my nervousness. I have no idea if Nate is just joking, or if he's trying to imply something.

He tilts his head, slightly, and opens his mouth. But before his words can come out, my phone buzzes, catching both our attention. Relieved, I take a look at the new message. As soon as I realise who it is, the relief vanishes. There's a message from Tyler, saying he'll be here soon. I don't answer it. What would I even reply? That I'm looking forward to it? I'd be lying if I said that, because to be completely honest, I think I'd much rather go to the party with someone else - to be more specific, a certain redhead with blue eyes and dimples.