here without you

71

"I still can't believe you two are friends now."

"Well, she's nice. Sometimes she says things without thinking, and she can be mean, but in a good way." I shrug. "She's actually pretty cool."

"And she's also talking to Jade right now," Nate says.

"What?"

I close my locker and turn my gaze towards the one of Jade. She's standing there, having a conversation with Mackenzie. It's more than unusual since I know they rarely talk with each other. Normally they don't get along too well, yet right now they're not looking like they are fighting. From what I can see they could be talking about anything.

I turn back to Nate, saying, "You don't think she would tell her, do you?"

"About what exactly? About that deal you two have made? Or about your feelings?"

"Both."

"Well, I don't know her as well as you do. So what do you think?"

"I'm not sure." I think, then I say, "No, I don't think she would. I'm pretty sure Kenny wants me to tell Jade myself. She wants me to suffer with Jade as much as I want her to suffer with Jack."

"You two have a pretty weird friendship."

"I know."

I see him smiling. "So why have you still not talked to Jade?"

I shrug.

"Just do it, Roze," Nate says.

"But... Maybe she'll get mad. Once I bring up the letter, she'll definitely get mad."

"No she won't. I know she won't."

I check the time, and I tell Nate, "I have to go now. Mr Andrews hates it when I'm late."

"You've only been late once. And you've only been there three times so far."

"Four if you're counting that time after I punched Mackenzie."

"But that doesn't count."

"I'll see you at lunch, okay?"

"Okay."

"And tell Kenny to talk to Jack."

"I will," he says. "Even though it's pointless - it's like telling you to talk to Jade. You know, you and Mackenzie are both acting ridiculous."

"I know."

_____

I leave Mr Andrews' office, closing the door behind me.

I'm walking through the rather empty hallways, on my way to maths class, when I see Jade and Jaxon standing at his locker. She's standing with her back to me, her long red hair falling over it. I can see Jaxon talking, his face rather serious. His eyes shift, and they meet with mine. I decide to avoid both of them by entering the bathroom which is to my left.

I step to the sink, turn on the tap, feel the cold water on my cold skin. I'm looking at the mirror when I hear the door of the bathroom closing. Automatically, I turn my head - and see Jade. She's standing in the bathroom, a few metres away from me. The heart inside my chest starts pumping unnaturally loud. It seems impossible to me not to hear it, and I wonder if Jade does.

She steps closer to me, and with each steps she takes my heart beats faster. Finally, she stops in front of me. If she took only one step closer, there would be no space between us. She would be as close as I would want to have her.

She bites her bottom lip - the sign which tells me she's nervous.

"You're seeing Mr Andrews."

After a second I say, "Yeah. I am."