A MAN'S SORROW CUTS DEEPER

Fighting for love...

She stood on the pier. And damned that pier she so much loved until now. The spot she sat in until now wishing for Can to come back to her, was now empty as his boat left the pier. He had come back. But seeing him only caused her more pain. And through the pain she realized she still loved him. How could she not? Each cell in her body still yearned for his touch. Her eyes only seeked the sight of his beautiful eyes.

The pain in her soul failed her. Instead of words of hope because he was back now, and love, and forgiveness, all that could spill out from the depths of her sorrow was a crumbled excuse of an explanation, which just caused him more pain. Somewhere, deep inside, she realized she had to release her fears and say all that had hurt her, and let him know how much he's hurt her. As she explained to her audience the day before, a phoenix has 7 emotions to live through. And at the end what remains is the truth. To heal completely she had to let all of it out, and by letting it out she felt a bit more at peace.

What she did not count on, was that his words caused her more pain than the feeling of healing from her own words that she just felt. She did not realize she could have hurt him as mich as she had. He had left, he betrayed their love, and he hurt Yigit. But she failed to understand until now that he, too, could have been hurting. He said that a part of him died, all because she did not trust him. To heat him say that he forced the man he had been to die because of their love crushed her beyond anything she felt before. Beyond anything she could have imagined.

She stood on the pier and saw his boat leaving. She cursed herself because as much as she ever wanted him to stay, she told him to go. He had come to say goodbye, for one final time, forever. He did not ask for forgiveness, he did not beg for her to understand his side of the story. He only asked for her scent. For their scent, to remember her by even though he knew perfectly well how much torment it would bring him. As much as it pained him, he asked if she had any words for him. Any, any at all. And she told him no. She had no words left in herself to offer to him.

And now? The moment the sound of his footsteps faded into non-existence, she realized what she had done. He wanted to reach out to her, even if for the last time. And what had she done? She turned away from him. She... failed to accept his hand again - even if it had been stretched out in a sign of peace, not out of love. A shock ran through her. She stood up. She ran. And she realized that she was too late. Too late to stop him, and too late again...

She never screamed out his name in a desperate attempt to make him realize he should stay. As she should have. She pushed him away and she chose not to fight for their love back then. How foolish she had been? All by herself she created a storm, from which she told her father Can would keep her safe from.

Her heart screamed out, unable to utter a word. She  could only cry. And her eyes burned now. How could a woman love a man so much? So now she begged the stars of Orion, the princess who cried the amber tears, and the Ministry of Wishes of Fishes to all come together with their powers over water to turn his leaving boat around, back to her. She loved him, her breath could not come if he was not in her life. And she promised herelf that if he turned the boat around, she would fight for their love no matter the cost.

And just as all hope seemed to be lost, his boat had stopped, but she was already gone...