A MAN'S SORROW CUTS DEEPER

Finding a great deal more...

Loss was a part of life. Can Divit could have written a book on the subject. He was forced to grow accustomed to loss at a very young age. As time passed, he grew so used to it that he expected loss as an inevidable end to practically everything. When Sanem barged into his life with a mind so open to happiness and unsurpassed faith in the good in people, she took his breath away. He did not know when he fell in love with her. That feeling was so new to him, that each turn in their relationship forced him to break through new level after new level of his heart that was locked up until then...

The year at sea made a new man out of Can Divit. All who he had been was still inside him. A confident son of Aziz Bey. An accomplished photographer of world prestige. And a lonely man who understood that it may have been better to keep his heart away from people because that meant it would not be hurt for the thousandth time. He never admitted to anyone just how lonely that heart felt. He carried himself as a proud man. A confident man. A man who never needed anyone. A man who never needed a place to call his own because the world was his stage. But deep down inside he ached to belong to someone. To matter to someone. To be called someone's one and only true love...

And then he met Sanem. A bright light in the world. A bright light in his world. First he was curious, then he was impressed. And finally he had to admit that the woman that stood before him who was just as sincere as she was pure, became the one that found a way to his heart. She was the first one, and she would become the only one. He opened up to her in ways he never did with anyone. He showed her places in Istanbul that he never showed to anyone else. She saw a man in him that was sincere in his relations with a boat owner during their shoot that Metin tricked them into. She saw a man in him who knew owners of little rustic restaurants that offered best fresh catches of the day, and who was not afraid to call them by their first name. And she saw a man that yearned for closeness and love as much as she did.

As life had a way to make someone work hard for what truly mattered, life did not make it easy for Can and Sanem. They found each other. They fell in love with each other so deep that they both realized their love would never end. Each piece of Can's heart let Sanem in, and from that moment on there would never be any space left in it for anyone else. But he did not know completely how much Sanem loved him in return. Because deep down inside he feared for the day it all would end, he began to loose grip on his love for Sanem. She made mistakes, but so did he. And he forgave her, for the first time in his life...

When he proposed to her for the first time he let his heart do the talking... He was honest. And completely sincere. He told her he was a new man all thanks to her, but that he felt so much like himself as he never felt before. He did not know then how much they would be tested, along with their love. The days that came after broke his heart in so many ways that only a person whose true love had failed them could understand... And by leaving Sanem he left a part of his heart to her. The part that ever felt loved...

When he came back to Istanbul he stepped back on the soil he thought he would never step on again. He was a changed man, but the old Can Divit was still a part of him. He was much more calm now. He became more quiet. And he learned that it was important to think things through. It wasn't enough anymore to accept things as they were. He wanted to search and find deeper meaning to what life dealt his way. He gazed more, he contemplated. And he began to realize that a simple answer was perhaps not that simple at all..

He contemplated on the matter of loss. He finally figured out that some things were meant to be lost to teach a lesson on what was truly important in life... Sometimes loss was a positive change. And that loss sometimes signified a new beginning. He thought of Sanem, and what she brought to his life. She changed his lonely life into one filled with light. The loss of his heart and giving it to her meant the beginning of a life where he lived with two hearts - one of his and one of Sanem's. And just as much, loss of Sanem many moons ago meant the beginning of a new chapter of loneliness for him...

The only thing that reminded him of the happy times of love he shared with Sanem was her scarf. As delicate to the touch and so colorful as Sanem herself. She lost it by the river's embankment the day she was too scared of his feelings, and too afraid to admit she shared those same feelings for him. That small piece of material went back and forth between them many more times before it finally ended up in his hands. That little bandana meant the world to him. It held within it their love, their happy times, their memories. Their enchanted beginning, adventurous days filled with mishaps and gazes and innocent touches that lit their hearts on fire. It also held their sorrow, for it all was a part of them. Their hopes and failed dreams. Their sorrow and undescribable love...

When Can returned and realized that Sanem may still hold a hint of feelings for him, that bandana held everso more meaning to him. It was his lifeline. Last sign of their hope. And when he saw she still held onto his ring, his feeling of hope grew that much more. But she told him she had nothing of his that held any value to her. So he took the ring back. And watched with complete satisfaction Sanem prove herself wrong. And he smiled from deep within because just as the feeling of hope filled his heart, the feeling of love kept surging back too...

But his plan had backfired. He had forgotten who he was dealing with. Sanem Aydin never backed down from a challenge. Never backed down without a fight. She wasted no time to take back what was hers, after he told her he held no item of hers of great value. That game of cat and mouse backfired on both fronts for them, because even if they took back what once was their possession, they lost so much more. For Sanem, the ring was all Can. And for him, the scarf was all Sanem. That pang of pain stung deep in their hearts. Just as the happiness of Can's taking back the ring and Sanem's taking back the scarf may have offered a moment of pride, it left so much more sorrow. And yet, by loosing the ring and the scarf, they found so much more. They found a great deal more. They found their hearts' hidden feelings for one another, and they found that those feelings were still there, and just as strong as they ever were. So when both items found their way back to their rightful owners, they realized that their hearts recognized the language of love their hearts felt.

Can could not help but feel the undescribable pull to go by the pier and thank the stars in the sky for guiding him back to Istanbul and Sanem. What's more, he was grateful to Sanem for returning her scarf. What he saw by the pier filled his heart with light. Sanem stood there thanking their stars. And she sensed him. If the sight of her looking up at the skies did not win over his heart, the fact that she again could sense him did. He took the first step, and she followed his lead. They met half way, in more than a symbolic way. And the closeness of their hearts could no longer be denied....