A MAN'S SORROW CUTS DEEPER

Knots of love...

Would anyone ever call Can Divit vulnerable? Not by the least. Not his friends, not his family, not even Can Divit himself. He would never admit to anyone that the heart he guarded above all in his life could be so open that it would be susceptible to even the slightest smidge of pain. He trained his heart well to stay strong and stay immune to that pain. And yet, his heart's gates flew wide open to the love Sanem offered freely to him.

Sanem. Sanem. That one word meant all to him. Freedom, love, pain of hurt, pain of yearning. And a promise of hope for the best in his life. It meant trust, it meant future. His heart, once closed and filled with hurt from the luck his life brought him, was finally beginning to listen to that voice deep inside, that it was ready to trust. And to trust completely.

Visiting Sanem's parents was important to Can. He respected them. Loved them, no less. Their words broke his heart. Not because they hated him. He did not feel any hate from them. But he felt loss of trust and pain of loss when he left. He understood Mevkibe when she told him they were not bad people. They loved Sanem and loved him as well. But the pain of lost trust in him broke their heart too. And that they would not forget. He loved Mevkibe for the mother she was. For the mother she once thought she could be to him too. And that, in his mind, was a painful blow. He hoped with all that he was that one day Mevkibe could embrace him once more. And not just as Can, but embrace him as her son. He looked at Emre's relationship with Mevkibe. Though he never felt envious, he could not help but to feel hurt. He was the only one who knew how much Yigit's lies cause him pain. Caused all of them pain. He was blamed for everything, yet he was hurt too. And he wondered if Mevkibe and Nihat could have changed their mind about him if they learned that painful truth? Would it ever come to pass Nihat would embrace him as well? He hoped...

They sailed the Bosphorus, in the light of day. He was her captain, she was his mate. The knots of their love tied their hearts forever. They made a pair of most beloved hearts. And he saw in her eyes that she loved him once more. No, perhaps not once more. She loved him still. The fact that they survived through it all meant that they would be strong to survive anything. He rememebered the moment they met. Was it a virtue of their luck? Was it the stars' gift to them? How was it possible that they found something they did not know they were looking for? They were much different from the rest of the world. They never fit in, for they were meant to find that refuge in each other. And he knew that now.

He remembered the moment from earlier that day. He held Sanem's face in his hand, and asked if she was okay after her parents rejected their love. With peace in her words and with love in her eyes she told him she was okay. He held her hand and asked if they should change their plans. She told him no, a confident no. She failed to go with him in the not so distant past. And that brought them both pain. She would not refuse him, not this time around. She loved him, and that gave strength to them both. In that very moment, when they stood in Aydin's kitchen, was perhaps the most vulnerable he ever felt. He was not asking her if they should go. He was asking her if she would stay by his side. He never knew he could feel that way. It scared him, and scared him to the core. He felt the sorrow in the past year at sea, but he never before felt fear for their future. When she replied she would stay by his side his heart felt so uplifted. It felt so alive.

So they told their friends their plan, and felt happy they understood their hearts well. Learning to be happy together would be the greatest adventure of all. Of course, Sanem would be her wonderful carefree and clumsy self to the core. And Can would be his cool and sure of all that he was. They accepted each other in all that they were. And that understanding of finally realizing what they were to each other gave them both peace and hope in their hearts.