A MAN'S SORROW CUTS DEEPER

A silent ache...

Hüma Divit was a proud woman. A woman of statute. A woman of class. And she had everything. She went to great lengths to make it appear that she did. But deep down inside she was broken, because the one thing that was missing was the love of a man she let into her heart...

Many moons ago Hüma fell for a man both handsome and witty. Smart and polite. A man of business who was well known in many top influential circles in Istanbul. Once she set her eyes on him, she knew then and there, that she would not stop until she married him. She met him through Mihriban. A good friend of hers. She was aware of Mihriban and Aziz's past, but felt that a woman of her class would fit him better than Mihriban ever could...

So she did not stop, and succeeded in her plan to make him her husband. And she thought that a ring of a gold band would be enough. Enough to assure her place by his side. Enough to ensure she would take over Mihriban's place. Though that were true in her mind, she did not know what true love meant. She was brought up with the notion that status and appearence took center stage, and love and feelings mattered as a distant second. So for her to realize that the man she had married gave more value to love than her level of status, was so baffling to her. She was perplexed, she was confused...

She was not a bad woman, at least in her eyes. But she did not understand Aziz. And that was her downfall. She realized too late into her game, that love mattered to Aziz. And it always did. Where she went to great lengths to impress Aziz with her grace and her poise, she failed to acknowledge the simple fact that she did not give a thought to his feelings for her. She wanted to possess him. His mind and his name. But she neglected his heart. She thought that she was a woman enough to make him forget Mihriban. And she was gravely mistaken...

Year after year, month after month, she grew more aware that their marriage might fail. The more she realized that she was beginning to love him, she was failing to look at his side of that love. She blamed him for their failing marriage, but she did not notice that the balance of love never equaled on the scale. She argued that she gave him her all, but she neglected to give him the one thing that mattered. She never gave him her heart...

So they had divorced. She was a woman scorned by that failure. She blamed him for it, because the woman she was, she would never admit to any of her faults. But deep down inside she was hurt beyond words. A silent ache ripped through her hardening cool heart. She took Emre with her, to deepen Aziz's pain, and in her blind fury did not give one thought to what separating Emre from Can might mean to Can too. And because of her pride, she made it seem she never looked back. She based her future and future relationships on statue and class, because she wanted no more of love. But that backfired each time and again. Not only with men, but with her sons as well. She failed to give her sons the one thing she yearned for. She failed to give them her unconditional love...

Looking at Aziz, asleep and at peace, she spoke to herself honestly. How different life might have turned out had he only loved her. Had he not loved Mihriban. Had he chosen her. But that was the past. No more looking back. The pain was her pain, and being Hüma Divit she would never admit that this pain still stung her heart.

She straightened herself and left Aziz's side. Everyone had a back-story. A secret side of their pain. She chose to hide hers as deep as she could. And chose to be viewed as a woman of cold heart rather than a woman of broken dreams and failed hopes...