A MAN'S SORROW CUTS DEEPER

The written pages...

Can felt helpless. Helpless and frustrated. He could not figure out why exactly he could not remember the last two years. After speaking with the doctor, that question actually turned and changed into why had he chosen to forget the last two years. Why did it choose not to remember? And why was his mind fighting so hard to keep it that way?

Can knew there was one person that could help him figure out a vital piece of that puzzle. Emre had grown to be more of a brother to Can in the last months than ever before. Can trusted his brother, but the relationship with his brother that Can remembered was not exactly that of a close brotherly bond. Which always made Can feel the void of it. And now, Can was looking at Emre as a close brother he always hoped for. They were more than just brothers now, they confined in each other, relied on each other. That is why Can valued Emre's opinion and asked him for information about Sanem's condition. What he heard hit his heart with a thousand arrows. He hurt Sanem. More than he would have ever imagined. It wasn't just his departure that hurt her, it was that indescribable void of his heart no longer being next to her and his hand no longer holding hers that hurt her. And his father's words made all the sense now. He had never known that someone could love someone that much. That someone could love him so much. That scared him. But it also made him think. Why was he so afraid of opening up to Sanem if she loved him that much? Why was he afraid to trust her with his heart? Why was he afraid of his own heart?

Emre gave him an advice, a very powerful one. He told him to read Sanem's book. That he would find all the answers in it. Emre was afraid for what the book would reveal to Can about his treacherous actions toward Sanem and the agency, but his brother's life was more important to him at this moment. And Emre added something more. And that came right from his own heart. He told Can that if he remembered their love, truly remembered, he would have been vastly more afraid of forgetting their love than of trying to remember it. And that struck a cord in Can's heart.

Something had changed in him. His heart spoke to him in a way that he had not known or felt before. Or remembered. He read Sanem's book. The written pages held so much power that he lost all sense of reality around him. He had always had a passion for books, but it was unlike himself to entrap himself so deeply in a book that he finished it in one sitting. All of it. And by the end he not only understood Sanem and their love for one another, he understood himself a little better too. For not everyday does anyone get to see themselves through the eyes of another. And what he saw in Sanem's description of himself was true to the core. She had described him from her heart's point of view. And he realized that she saw him. The real him. The true him. With his flaws and his virtues. With his joys and his sorrows. And he could no longer deny the fact that they not only shared one love. They shared one heart. And they shared one soul.

And he knew from that point on that his love for Sanem was one he could no longer deny. He would no longer fight what his heart was beginning to feel. His decision came as much from his heart as much from his soul. Thought he did not remember his own advice to Sanem to listen to the feelings and not think with the head first, he did just that now. He felt. He felt it all. That feeling deep inside reached the surface of his heart and shone right out of his eyes. And he knew that from that moment on he would do everything in his power to make sure Sanem's hand never let go of his own...