A MAN'S SORROW CUTS DEEPER

A moment of complete reassurance...

Sanem was Can's one and only. She would always be. If spending each moment of his life with her by his side was what he would be able to do, he would move mountains to make that happen. But for the time being, he enjoyed the fact that they were finally alone, finally able to be themselves, and finally able to reveal their feelings...

She made him laugh. Much as she did just then, when she made up the story of demanding manti at the restaurant in Kayseri. He enjoyed it even more when he realized she was repeating word for word what she made up of that story when they dined with Fabri. And he remembered how much he valued her ability to brighten up his spirit. She made him forget his painful and lonely past. She would never be able to fully understand how much that meant to him. He once revealed to Sanem that he felt very lonely growing up. He felt close to his father but he knew he would not be able to count on him each time he needed him because of his busy work. He loved Emre, but he never fully understood brotherly love and what that kind of bond could offer. At least not until Sanem changed it all...

He took her places he never revealed to anyone else. He took her to his mountain hut. That was his safe haven. And he found it was easy to let her in and entrust that safety of the hut to Sanem. He took her to his childhood home. He never ever revealed to anyone that he still visited that place. But he knew Sanem would find that place as enchanting as he did. And now that place would mean so much more to him for that was where he gathered his courage and confessed his love for her. He showed her his secret place where the Ministry of Wishes of Fishes resided. And again he saw that Sanem understood the significance of that place...

Whatever he showed her, she took it all in. She never questionned, she just followed his lead. It was as if he finally found his partner, one he did not even know he was looking for. She worked with him, side by side, at the printshop by candlelight to make sure the design would be ready for the next day. He realized she had an uncanny gift for learning. It wasn't just her ability to memorize what she saw. She actually felt passionate about learning what he was teaching her. He felt the same way when she broke his camera. Again, side by side, they worked to fix and mend the broken pieces and soon the camera worked just as well as it did before Sanem's fortunate fall. Fortunate, for it made them spend time alone, and it gave them an excuse for spending the day alone away from everyone else at the agency. The day he showed her how to make wishes and send them away to be granted by the Ministry of Wishes of Fishes, she listened to his instructions with complete acceptance. She did not judge. She accepted it all. And she now seemed to learn how to catch fish to perfection, and all on her first try. And for that he loved her even more...

But what he truly enjoyed was her tea. And he ws glad to be able to drink it again with Sanem by his side. He would never understand what it was in her hands that brewed tea to perfection. Her skill was unmatched. And he missed that fragnant taste ever since he was pushed away by her choice to not reach for his stretched out hand. The pain of that moment in time would haunt him forever. He moved on from that pain, forgave her for it, but he felt he would need to forgive himself for doubting their love if they were ever to be together again. So when she spoke out and said she needed to confess her feelings, he realized the time had come to finally begin that process of forgiveness, and face their future head on...

She revealed all of her heart to him. How she felt from the beginning. He heard her say words he never heard her say before. Of who he had been to her, who he became to her. He did not hiw it was possible to love her even more than he already did, but somehow he felt that way now. She described him perfectly, in words so much different than the day he heard her describe him to Ceycey and Guliz. The fact that she could describe him to a 'T' felt undescribable. And then she apologized for wanting to change him. He apologized for that as well. He loved her so much, but he wanted her to realize that not everyone should be trusted, because not everyone deserved that trust...

He sat back and took her words in. He was much wiser now. Much more calm, much more open to what the world had to offer. And what Sanem did not seem to see was that they did in fact change each other. He looked at her, and what he saw a confident woman, sure of herself and so much more cautious about the world. He affected her in many ways too. Her circle of friends was small now, but she trusted them with her life. Her style changed as well, somehow seemed to resemble his, though she would never admit it. And even though she preferred the inclusion of her home, she found it amazingly eyeopening to be able to spend time on the open water with him. And he changed too, all thanks to Sanem. She made him think. She made him realize that it was okay to trust people, even more so it was okay to forgive mistakes. He forgave her, because he realized that to trust meant to love, and to love meant to trust. Because of her he forgave Emre. He forgave Metin. And he finally realized that he no longer needed to escape to feel whole. She was his safe harbor, his place to call home.

He was honest when he said that she was the first person he ever trusted. Saying it out loud made him realize what his heart tried to tell him so many times. And her confession signified a moment of complete reassurance. An important and needed step for them both. He knew when they went ashore that the steps that lay before them would take them in the direction of their future, a future together. All that was left to do now was to reveal to her that the yacht she thought he kidnapped her on was no longer his, and that whether she accepted it or not, he was ready to stay, and stay forever...