A MAN'S SORROW CUTS DEEPER

Somewhere...

Life's sense of humor is sometimes as cruel as that of an old man's... Can left his past life on purpose. What hurt him the most was the fact that the only woman that ever touched his heart chose to believe in the words of another. The pain he felt then failed to ease even by a bit. The year he had been away only made the void in his heart more vivid. The raw scar in each part of his heart would never heal, and there was no other way to survive but to get used to it...

Now he was back. Sitting in his boat at night, Can tried to think of his father's health, and tried to figure out whether he should leave at once, or stay until his father's condition improved. But, tried as he might, his thoughts kept circling back to Sanem. Always, Sanem. And this time, his thoughts led him back to the moment he set foot again in Istanbul. Just a few days ago. Just hours that had passed. Just a few breaths away - to the moment when his reality thrust him back to face the woman he tried to forget yet yearned to touch again. To the moment he saw her at the movie theater. When he went inside to hide from the rain. When the story he told Fabri ages ago replayed itself in the oddest twist of serendipity...

The first steps in the city felt as Can would have predicted. Yet, with the intention of taking his life back on his own terms, he knew that he had to face what would come his way. So, each step hurt, but each one had to be taken. That he was certain. He walked through the streets, and his soul found healing in the fact that the sounds he once knew still felt the same. He was a man of a deeper meaning. Even if he refused to admit it to anyone. The sounds, the smells, the emotions - all of them mixed in his soul and brought on a satisfying level of calm. Even the coming thunder still left him feeling at ease.

And the raindrops had fallen upon him. Refreshing and sweet. Istanbul's rain offered a homeland's sense of belonging so different from the rain he encountered at sea. He decided to look for shelter, and gazed at the cinema. "Kotü Kral" stared back at him with such intensity that he was unable to will himself to look away. The poster of "Bad King" his eyes saw surged a bolt of uneasiness and lost memories in his soul. But with nowhere else better to turn to, and unable to do so, Can allowed his steps to lead him to the darkness that awaited in the movie teather. He would find shelter there. He would find refuge. He would find a quiet place to wait out the storm.

With this thought in mind, he decided to see the movie. What did he have to lose? What could he have gained by staring at the storm instead of at the screen on the other side of the lounge door? And then, all of his soul drained..

Could it be true? How cruel had his luck turned? It was Sanem. In flesh. Standing by the ticket booth, paying for a ticket to see a movie whose title meant so much to them. Within a grasp's reach. No doubt about it. Her scent overpowered him. Undid him from within. And he couldn' move. So, he paid for his ticket, and followed her inside. He sat behind her. Just the two of them in the room. How strangely symbolic would it appear to someone who knew their story...

And he only saw her. Completely oblivious to what played on the screen. His soul heard her laugh, his heart felt her tears. Somewhere between the moment he went in after her and now, his heart began to beat for her again. That scared him to the very core. Her laughter always filled his mind, but her tears had such power over him that he could never accept them without his gut demanding to embrace her.

Realizing it, he could handle no more. She could never be his, she made her intentions clear the moment she failed to accept his hand the last time he saw her. With this painful thought he had to get up. The air in the room was too much for him to handle. Leaving the room, he took one last look at Sanem. He sighed, painfully so. No, his love for her would never end. His heart belonged to her from the moment he chose to open up to her. And only to her.

Turning away from her again seemed like the most painful move he would have to make, yet again. But what he did not know, and did not realize, was that just as he turned to walk out of her life, Sanem had felt him, his presence, and his heart. As she turned, her eyes gazed upon him, and her soul knew he was back...