A MAN'S SORROW CUTS DEEPER

Strength to hold on...

Can often wondered why his love hurt. Coming back to the memories of their beginning all seemed so uplifting. The secret touches, innocent stares, and finally admitting that they were in love....

Reminiscing on all of their past, Can realized there were two sides of love. First one was to fall in love, and the second one was to love. And he understood that when it came to that once in a life time love, both sides could not exist without the other. They fell in love, and they knew soon enough that theirs was so much more than a brief love affair. Both Sanem and Can's each day began with the first thought of each other. Their breaths in same rhytm, their emotions reflected as if in a mirror. Where his was more of a physical attraction and hers was based more on emotions in the beginning, it had evolved and somehow transposed. Where Sanem found her femininity and became a woman when it came to her style because his love inspired her, Can opened up and let his love speak from his soul. Part of his love for Sanem was because of this simple fact. He was no longer affraid to let his feelings show. He may have seemed arrogant and all too reserved when it came to showing affection, but only he knew how much he valued his heart and all the sorrows hidden within. All thanks to Sanem, he permitted himself to let her love in. And once that happened, he understood right away that his heart could survive only thanks to her love.

Somewhere down the line his love had transformed. It was no longer based on the felling of being in love. The love he felt now overpowered his soul. It gave him wings, those of the Albatross, but they were not wings of a bird who would fly away. Rather, they were the wings of strength and courage to face what life brought their way. They had their troubles, problems arose, but his love for Sanem was more than his rock.

When Sanem chose to believe Yigit, his world fell apart. Sanem felt crushed, but she had no idea of how he felt. Once a man who chose to disconnect and suppres his emotions, he allowed his heart to feel again. And now with his emotions stumped down with one crushing blow, his heart bled. The tears that fell from his aching eyes felt nowhere close as painful as those of his heart. Sanem would not understand that her blow of mistrust caused a part of him to die inside. He was not a man of emotions, but he felt all pain now from within...

It took a long time to heal that raw wound. It would never heal completely to the way that things were, but Can realized that he was stong enough to face Sanem day after day. Her constant rejections of him being close dealt a new blow to him, again and again. But as a man who always relied on his gut feeling, something kept pulling him back to her and he trusted his gut that he would not get hurt yet again...