A MAN'S SORROW CUTS DEEPER

If his soul could feel her joy in his simplest gesture...

Can watched Sanem as she sat on the deck by his boat. She was mere feet away, yet she felt so distant to him. Her reflection in the waters of the faithful Bosphorus mixed with the reflection of a million stars shining above her. He watched her and held his breath. From afar, she seemed to be so much stronger than he felt at the moment. She was on her land. She was confident in who she had become as an author. And she was strong enough to face him and act as though their love was just something she left in the past.

His eyes yearned for the sight of his beloved Sanem for over a year now... The time they had share, and more importantly the time he spent away from her, made him realize that he fell in love not with her innocence, but with her flaws. All the other women he had met in his life tried their best to hide their imperfections. They tried to pretent they had no vices. They tried to make it seem that he should pursue them because they were better than the rest. But Sanem? She never pretended to be better than anyone else. She was just herself. A headstrong daydreamer, with flaws, vices, and imperfections. And he fell in love with her not inspite of them, but because of them...

As he stood not far from where Sanem sat, he looked at her, but his heart was afraid to see her. Still so afraid to come close. Still so afraid to admit to himself that he could never fall out of love with her. Still so afraid to admit just how much he missed her, and how much it would hurt if he were to never see her again, all the while it seemed she moved on and her life really did turn for the better without him.

And then...

His heart felt as if it were struck by the most powerful bolt of lightning. And that lightning struck him twice. He watched as Sanem took medicine, something she never did before. The guilt that filled his soul was so unbearable that his knees almost buckled under him. Was he the reason behind her sorrow? Of course he was. So he wasn't the only one suffering after their break-up? Of course not. Could she have gone through more than what he had after she chose not to take hold of his hand the day he and Yigit fought? That... was something he had not fully acknowledged before.

So, he watched her take the medicine, and the pain of it filled his heart. But then... he watched as she wrote down her thoughts on a piece of paper, olqced the scrap of paper in the bottle, and threw the bottle away into the water. Could it really mean she was making a wish? And not just any wish. A wish to the Ministry of Wishes of Fishes? Could she have possibly written her faithful 'C.' on that scrap of paper that now laid at the bottom of the pier, among the other bottles?

He gathered his strength and found courage to step towards her. Uneasy at first, the steps became easier one by one. He stood beside her. When she looked up he found that all his courage fled. He was bare, stripped of all walls and barriers. She turned but did not get up. So, he sat down. And opened up to her with no reserve left in him. If she only turned and looked at him, she would see how much pain it caused him to know he put her through this ordeal. He apologized, with emotions so raw and so vivid. And he admitted that the time away from her left him with nothing. The world without her meant nothing at all. That everything without her was nothing...

If he only turned and looked at her, if he could see her heart's expression so clearly written on her face, he would realize how much she missed him. How much she still loved him. How much it meant to her in this very moment that he did not get up and walk away. No, he did not leave. He stayed beside her, yet again, for the second time in just 24 hours and showed her he chose to stay by her. He may not have noticed what that meant to her, but she knew. Her heart knew it, and her soul knew it.

Stubborness so deeply rooted in who they were fought very hard to keep their pride. Their egos were wounded, to sure of their respective side of the story. And yet, little by little, with their souls already open, their hearts realized that the light shining through all the broken pieces began to weave the sweet veil of love around their hearts again. Silent, but confinent in the strength of their true love. And in just a short matter of time, the love they felt for each other would bloom so much that it would withstand all odds. They would just have to admit it to each other first...