A MAN'S SORROW CUTS DEEPER

Just a breath away...

Can was glad to have his car back. Little by little he was claiming his life back. It would take time, there was no question about it, but he would make every effort to feel at home again. And his car offered an instant feeling of peace and gratification. His scent still lingered inside the car, his fingers fit perfectly in the same spot, his mirrors still stayed in their same position. The only thing that was missing was Sanem right by his side...

Can drove around the city. As pleasant as it had felt to see his beloved city, he could not help escaping the feeling of loneliness. His eyes wished for the sight of Sanem's beautiful face and mesmerizing eyes. His hands wished for the touch of Sanem's soft hand caressing his hand while they spent countless hours driving together. His ears wished for her melodious voice whispering his name in the most loving of ways...

And all of a sudden his luck had turned up. His heart almost jumped out of his chest when he saw Sanem walking alongside the road. He stopped the car and asked her if she was heading home. She replied yes. But as much as she took the question as what it was, his soul understood it a different way. She was heading home, and what it meant to him was that she really was, and was heading in the same direction as he was. As soon as he thought it, he smiled inside out because for what it was worth, they had now lived in the same place, same spot of land, almost under the same roof. And the fact that she accepted his offer to head home together in the same direction meant more to Can that he would have shown.

Looking at Sanem right next to him mere moments after he wished for just that was beyond any words Can's mind could describe. Her smell filled the car, her eyes wandered toward him, her hands rested on the seat next to him. To both of their dismay, the seatbelt malfunctioned in the same exact way as it did long ago in the past. Though Can did not share Sanem's photographic memory, both of their hearts relived that same memory. Where Sanem looked at Can in disbelief, Can could only smile at her...

As much as Sanem missed driving in the car together, she felt the pain of their past becoming too much to hold inside. And she chose to let it all out. The full force of her words filled with that pain hit Can without any warning. He listened to her pleas to stop the car because his hands shook on the wheel. The time had come when they faced the pain they both held inside. And neither one of them was prepared for the sheer truth that screamed out from their souls.

Can could not believe it when she told him the notebook did not matter to her, for to her the notebook was all about him and if it were ever to be destroyesld, it would have been fitting that it was him. What it meant to him, was that somehow someway she was talking to him about the phoenix. He had to fall to his knees much as he did this past year to realize how he and their love could be rebuild stronger than ever. What's more, she told him that she did reach out for him.

Those words cut more than any acceptance she could offer to Yigit. He realized at this very moment that in all honesty it may have been his own stubborn self that may have caused the year-long rift. Had he only kept his phone on and listened to her voice that one last time. All those words she spoke caused him to fall silent. The old Can would have fought until he had the last word, but now he accepted Sanem's plea for their past and their future.

She lashed out at him. Vocally, and with all the force she could gather. All she managed to have done was to fall right into his arms. The touch of his hands on her skin sent shockwaves all though her body. His piercing gaze saw right through to her soul. But it was the closest possible proximity to his face that caused her heart to stop. Their noses touched, and she lost all sense of reality.

All those memories of their kisses flooded back into her mind and she froze. How could she make him stay with her just the way they were now? The fear of that thought hurt to the core. But what hurt her more was that he released his grip and he let her go. And what she realized, was that as much as it may hurt again and again, she would be willing to do anything to be held by him yet again and once more...