A MAN'S SORROW CUTS DEEPER

Rediscovering Sanem...

Sitting in her garden, Sanem felt lost... Can had returned, but was as far away from her as he was in the year that had passed. She could not help but reflect on the memories they shared, but also on the pain he left behind. The woman she had become when the love of Can Divit gave her strength, courage, and a newfound sense of self-esteem disappeared somewhere between the beautiful dreams she remembered that once existing with the man who chose her, and the crusing blow of reality in which he no longer loved her...

On some level she now understood why Can found refuge in the wilderness of nature, for here, away from the world she no longer felt judged. She no longer felt the despair of loneliness from being torn apart from the only man that became her strength. She found a place on this earth where the green of the land would help ease the gray dimmed light of her soul...

The night that Can left she relived the nightmare of hearing his footsteps and her breaking heart through the whole night. That next morning, for the first time she accepted help from her parents with calming down. She slept, yet the fear of the next day, and the next, and so on without Can were too much to bare. She did not leave home, she chose the safety of the walls of her room, where each inch of the space held his scent, his presence. If only she could make him feel a pinch of her pain, she was sure it would crush him...

So she filled her lonely minutes of infinity with rewriting her notebook. As the Divit pen lay next to her at night, the laptop Can had gifted her guided her aimlesly through each written word. Her meticulous photographic memory and perfectionist mind of an author forced her to write, erase, and rewrite millions of words that not only made the story true to its core, but also caused it to drenched in her own emotions.

The despair in her heart, the passion of loss, each breath without him pushed her more and more toward finishing the book. She worked like a mad woman. Somewhere along the way, she turned into her secure world where he was next to her, still next to her, never letting go of her hand... Wasn't this the only thing she asked of him? Didn't she reply to him saying that she only wanted to be held in his arms when he asked where she would want to go? In the pain now too raw, she continued to write, the love and sorrow pouring out of her soul with no way to stop it...

The book was about him, how could it not? Yet as the end drew near she could not force her fingers to write their sad ending. Deep down inside, her own heart begged her not to it to end that way. And so she rewrote the conclusion of their true love that was not meant to be, with the hope in her soul and love in each tear she had shed.. She'd fall asleep with the love for her Can still so true in her heart. She saw him in her dreams, each night after night, for only there he'd keep coming back to her. The touch of his hand, the strong grasp of his arms, the intense look only he could offer to her. She no longer hoped for the dawn, for it brought back with itself the overwhelming and crushing blow of reality that he was not there...

She finished her book in less than 2 months. Afraid to set step out of her room, she asked Ceycey to carry it with it's heaviness of days past to Yigit to have it published. Ceycey had begged all the stars and skies and good natures each day, for close to a year, that his two friends would find their way back to each other... And just as he thought his prayers would go unanswered, he realized that the day of their reunion may one day come to pass, if the group of friends worked together to mend their hearts, and reignite their love...