A MAN'S SORROW CUTS DEEPER

The sorrow really did cut deeper...

Taking steps away from Sanem ripped Can's heart out. Knowing there was a possibility those were his final steps away from her felt as if that heart of his was being ripped out of him with one tear after another. And the only thing he could do was to finally release the tears from his eyes...

Moments earlier he stood before Sanem and could not come up with the right words to make her understand he needed her in his life. Needed her to breathe, needed her to live. He did not remember how their love began. But he knew what he felt in his heart. It was as vivid to his heart as it was to his mind. He loved her. He fell in love with her. And he had no idea how to express it. For he forgot how to open up. How to open up to her. The man he had been lost himself so completely that he no longer knew where to turn. What to say. He was a confident man, at least he thought he was. But Sanem made him feel so inexplicably uneasy about himself that the only thing he knew for sure was that he would never be able to face another day without her by his side. And he did not know how to tell her that.

Can hadn't truly opened up to anyone after his mother left him behind. Not to his dad, not even to himself. He opened his heart to Sanem in the past, but even he was aware of the fact that he hadn't opened up to her completely. So the fact that he needed to speak to her about what lay deep in his heart scared him. He was always an honest man. But he did not know how to be honest with Sanem about his feelings.

And that failed him. It failed him in the most crucial moment of his life. And because he could not find the courage to scream out loud and confess his love for Sanem, he failed them both. And he could see it in her eyes. Her heart cried for them both. Her soul was disappearing behind those tears and he did not know what to do to pull it back toward his own...

Sanem became more and more quiet. And that scared him too. He would know how to reason, fight, and conquer her if she yelled and fought back. But he was powerless against the sorrow he felt deep within her for the love that was fleeing from her heart and away from his...

He left the store and drove away. And the moment he no longer saw her in his sight a memory hit his heart with the full force of that one faithfull evening when he pulled her closer to him and saved her life on the cliffs by the Bride Rock. He pulled her to safety, but he did so much more in that very moment. He pulled her closer to his heart than he ever pulled anyone. He not only pulled her closer, he pulled her in. His heart felt it. His soul did too. His gaze in to her eyes turned into a stare, and he could not stop himselft from holding her closer and closer. She fit perfectly in his arms. His heart realized that day that she somehow crushed through his barriers he set around his heart. And she did so without any effort and without any knowledge she did so.

Driving away from Sanem was the hardest thing he ever remembered to have felt. He did not remember his tears that fell upon his cheeks when she stayed behind by Yigit's side that sad dreadfull day. But the tears that fell from his eyes now fell in exactly the same spot. They felt the same, yet so much more painful.

The sorrow he felt really did cut deeper than any sorrow he ever felt. And he vowed to himself that he would take any chance he still had left, any steps still left to be taken to make sure Sanem stayed in his life. And stayed by his side...