A MAN'S SORROW CUTS DEEPER

What's in a (day)dream?

Sanem sat in her garden. Her newly rediscovered companion notebook rested everso sweetly in her lap. The words, lost in a deep silence just a few weeks ago, came rushing in a mile a minute to her heart now. And she could no longer deny the source of that inspiration. Can. Can was the inspiration that lit her soul on fire and made her first book a possibility...

Looking up at the stars, feeling the warmth of the summer night's breeze, and loosing herself in the glistering delicate sounds of the firepit near her, she smiled and thought of what had just happened between her and Can on the pier. He finally admitted he still held onto her bandana. She in turn let her guard down and admitted she still held onto his ring, their ring. And that admission did not hurt at all. It freed her. It freed all the sorrow she held bottled up deep inside for over a year. Up until the moment Can returned and stood in front of her now, that ring of moonstone power signified a past that she wishes with all of her heart that it may come back to her, in more than just dreams. Now, with Can standing in front of her, she knew that from this moment on the ring would not only stand for their past, but it would now offer hope for their future as well...

She still felt his hands on the chain of the necklace. Still felt the warmth of his heart beating so close to hers. Still felt the delicate strength of his lips stopping just a mere heartbeat away from her lips. He stopped his lips from touching hers, but lingered there for what it felt like eternity. And she rembeded he did that before, when he called upon a war of their hearts. She came accross him at the agency's archive, and asked him not to stay too far from her. He told her he loved her, but she was too afraid to admit to them both that she loved him too. And he caught her off guard, that day at the archive, and asked her what would she have done if he'd kissed her just then? Would she accept it? Would she turn away? She closed her eyes in complete surrender, and he smiled with affirmation that she too loved him as well. His words rang so deep in her soul now, for he said she should not start a war she knew she would loose...

So the words flew on her paper now, fierce and so bold, until the moment her heart sensed Can's presence and his breath on her ear. He was still there, deep in her thoughts. He kissed her once. He did so again. And spoke of their partnership, and what it entailed. After all, the limitless posibilities of their newfound union offered a sure link for them both. Partnership was about shared dreams, shared home, and shared lives. And stolen kisses, she would have to admit... She felt his lips on her cheek. His words in her soul. She was taken aback by his honesty and his sincerity when he spoke of their future...

She knew she could listen to his voice for hours. But that was not to be. The magic of the moment flew up to the sky, and left her stranded with that lost dream in her soul.  And a lost train of thought. Was it all just a daydream? Her mind returned back to reality, with no Can in her sight. Deniz came by and spoke to her in the kindest of ways. And she wondered who could have affected Sanem in that magical way....