A MAN'S SORROW CUTS DEEPER

When dreams bring peace...

The night before she was too late. Can's boat already left the pier. The encompassing despair she felt and the hopelessness that kept coming back caused her a new level of pain. Sitting at home after she had made that gut wrenching way back from the pier she asked herself, why had she been too afraid of turning around when he was still next to her, asking for a vial of their perfume? And she had to admit, she was too afraid that she might have seen love again in his eyes.

She had laid in her bed, embracing the heart amber necklace in both of her palms. She had put it away months ago. And now she knew she needed it again. She begged for its powers to help heal her pain. As she cried herself senseless, she drifted to sleep. And her much needed dream filled with love lasted all night...

She saw his eyes, curious and dark. Looking at him the day she met him made all of her brain cells to fry every circuit. She felt so embarassed. She spoke to Guliz and Ceycey about how arrogant Can was, yet through a strange twist of faith she proved to be the arrogant one, for she bashed him without getting to know him. But in the dream all she could sense was his loving eyes gazing upon her in that very first sight. His voice all but sang out her name, over and over, as if his heart was engraving it in his soul.

She then saw his smile, so pure and so true, when she had helped him make the poster at the printshop by candlelight. They were alone then, yet he made her feel safe. Though she held the phone so his hands would be free to create his art, she could swear his eyes never left her face. He kept his cool then, but she could feel that deep down inside his curiousity was already sparked...

Now all she could feel was the strength of his arms, when he held her safe at the edge of the cliff in Agva, when she told him the legend of the crying stone bride. Though his grip was firm, it was also soft. How ever so perfect did his arm fit around her? They were made for each other, that thought ran through her mind. And he did not let go, no, not at first. This feeling of safety embraced her again.

She was now in the forest. The moment she found him, after hours of searching, felt like a silent triumph that screamed right out of her heart. She knew that she'd find him, and she alone. When she told him to stay, not go into hiding, she saw in his eyes a strange single spark. Strange, she thought. How was it possible that she had a photographic memory, keen on picking up on details, yet so many details escaped her observation that night. Oh, he was curious, and that scared her a bit. Yet he made her feel safe, alone in the woods. Though he offered his tent, she could not deny it that she felt safer with him next to her.

Her dream led her now to her family's home. The night her parents celebrated their anniversary was surely a night to remember. Her hand in his hand, right under the table. Those secret touches and looks passed between them... And the sudden turn of events, when her mom choked on the ring. Did he not become the hero that night? Rushing everyone in his car, making sure no harm came her mom's way. Not only did he help keep her safe, but she realized that her mom's safety mattered to him as well.

When they parted ways, he saved her once more. The saddness due to the loss of their love in her eyes did not see the incoming car when she helped a woman walk accross the street. He saved her then, he knew it too. Though they were not together, he was still her true hero...

Now she felt a bit scared. She remembered and saw the pit in the forest she fell and felt lost. And then Can found her. He alone, he first. He held her then, but the embrace was much different. This embrace was that of a man who had realized his loved one was in danger. His urgent pleas for her to remain calm meant nothing for she felt the fear in his voice. She was okay, just physically bruised. And through the fear her soul sang with the peace of his secure embrace.

All through the night, her heart relived those memories when Can kept her safe. Not one bad memory, not one whip of pain. Only the feeling of love, safety, and peace. That feeling carried her back to reality, when the sun shined her way. And she felt so calm. She somehow felt calm about what was to come.

She awoke from that dream with a newfound sence of peace. She walked to the pier, with her heart on her sleeve. So his boat had left, but she knew she'd find him again. The night helped her remember how loved she felt with him, how safe and secure.

Though she stood alone, she saw his boat. He did not leave ! Not completely, and not forever! Struck by another wave of hope, Sanem held her breath. Something told her to turn around. And there he was. Standing magestic, like an albatross. She could see his eyes, even from afar, even through the sunglasses. As he began walking toward her, she could feel her heart longing for him, and her hand yearning for his touch. The loss of the year had come and had gone.

Maybe, just maybe her future shone bright like the soft warming rays of the welcoming sun? She was now ready to fight back for their love. And from the looks of it, she hoped he was too. He did not leave the night before, had not left her behind again. And he told her words she begged their Fate to come true. He did not leave! He could not leave! And those words, as simple as they were, filled her not just with hope, but with a new sense of purpose in life...