A MAN'S SORROW CUTS DEEPER

Star, sea, and fire...

All is well in the world when plans work out. Though not always in a way they are planned. Sometimes they turn out even better than expected...

Can felt that he accomplished part One of his plan. He persuaded Sanem to stay at the beach resort. He also accomplished part Two of his plan. She agreed to take a short trip with him to a nearby island. And he could see how happy and enthusiastic she was about seeing him pull up in front of her on the jet ski. She tried to hide her happiness but he knew better. The fact that she tried to bicker with him about it meant that she was enjoying herself too. So they rode together to one of the most serene and secluded parts of the island. He thought of the Galapagos and Sanem's dream she had mentioned in her book. He hoped that one day her dream would become reality. But for now, he would give all of himself to the moment in time where it was just Sanem and him. Just the two of them. Their hearts strongly in love but fearful of opening up again. Their souls yearning to hear each other's melody again but afraid to bring their walls down...

The secluded beach they found themselves on offered all they needed. And what they needed the most was to be alone. Alone with each other. Can recalled Sanem's passage in the book when he had mentioned to her so many moons ago that maybe it would be a good idea for them to stay alone together. He had ended up holding her close to his heart and for the very first time they consciously let their feelings guide them. And he felt the same now...

They spent the day speaking with each other with honesty and a bit of sarcasm and humor. And they both enjoyed it. Part Three of his plan worked when Can announced the jet ski had broken down. Sanem appeared mad and distressed, but each time he turned she smiled with pure satisfaction. They bickered and in a pure Can Divit way he decided it was his way or no way, and lifted Sanem up. And he froze. His heart flew up to his throat and he could barely breathe. A flashback flew before his eyes where he carried her in the same way. And they fought in the same way too. He lowered her down and looked, but not at her. He looked into her.

He felt dizzy and wondered if his flashbacks were caused by the hightened emotions whenever they fought. Sanem worried about his appearence for she feared something had happened that may be related to his accident. Seeing he was okay, she called him a caveman. He did not know why but understood this was not the first time he finished an argument that way. He decided to keep this memory to himself as well, for it was not part of his plan. They would spend the night under the stars, and he did not need to open up the subject of their past now. For now was what mattered. The current moment. The current turn of events. There and now. Sanem announced to him that she could not spend the night next to someone who did not have love in his heart for her. He cut her words short and told her to watch her words, and if he were her, he would hold his tongue. She said nothing but their hearts understood what he meant, even if she was too stubborn to admit it.

Later that evening he admitted to Sanem that his favorite part of her book and their story was when she had learned he was her albatross. The man of her heart. The knight of her soul. What moved him was the way she described what happened to her. How vivid it was. How honest she was about it. And she told him just how much that moment meant to her. He chose her. She had fallen in love with him, deeply and secretly for she was afraid of her feelings. She was afraid because she was very much aware of where she came from and who he was. So to know he fell for her too meant so much to her. To know he felt the same about that first kiss and first moment they met was beyond all wishes and dreams she held so dear to her heart. She had mentioned to Ceycey she fell in love with a man that would never be able to love her back. The knowledge that he would and could and did, caused her entire body to shift, with complete disregard to gravity and anatomy...

They shared the night together. With the stars, the sea, and the fire as their witness. Can awoke that morning realizing that this would become the meaning behind their children's names. Sanem's book mentioned them, but now he understood how much they would come to remind them of this morning, and how much they would come to mean to their future. He looked at Sanem as she lay so peaceful in his arms. Though he only read of the many times they had spent the nights under the stars, now he felt the feelings that hid behind those words penned down by Sanem. She stirred and looked up into his eyes. That light of her heart was there, though she did her best to hide it. And to his curiosity and amusement, she seemed to have forgotten the events of the prior evening.

So he relived those events again by telling her about them. How they ate the fish she caught, how she refused to drink wine he brought along just to finish off the bottle all by herself in the end, how she danced by the fire and then woke him so they could end the night by dancing to the rhytm of the crushing waves and under the light of the stars. She told him what lay deep in her heart. She loved him so much that all that mattered to her was that he was alive. She loved him more than she loved herself. She loved him so much that she would forgo her own heart and no longer ask for anything more, for all that mattered was that he came out of the accident unharmed, barring the memory of their love. She said those words and took in a deep breath, and admitted her deepest wish of her heart. She admitted it to herself, but was unable to stop those words from escaping her mouth. She wished for him to get his memory back when he awoke that morning. And that was what he needed to understand. That someone had loved him, completely and without boundaries or expectations.

His plan had worked. In more ways than one. For now he was convinced she still had feelings for him. And all it would take now was a bit of convincing that heart of hers to let his light back in to her heart as well...