A MAN'S SORROW CUTS DEEPER

A silent battle within...

Sanem was a dreamer. A romantic soul. She viewed life as a gift, as a bright ray of good luck. Always guided with the righteousness of her thoughts, she trusted herself above all. Her intentions were always pure, her actions based on her trust in the positive virtues of life.

When she met Can, she was made aware that he was a bad man. Yet she soon realized how trully pure of heart he really was. He had no bad motives. No false pretenses. He was who he was, and what he was was a good man with a sensitive soul. And Sanem fell in love, first with his heart, and then with his soul...

She made mistakes, she knew that too well. Yet the mistakes she made were not all a result of her intentions. The first mistake was to trust Emre when he said Can was a bad man. That single mistake caused a chain of events that brought lie after lie to her simple life. Where Can left no room for lies in his life, Sanem could not believe that anyone would stoop so low as to live a life filled with lies. She never lied before meeting Emre, for she believed that real life offered no room for dishonesty, and real life was meant to be lived as purely and honestly as possible. That is why realizing she was lied to by Emre crushed her view of herself. Hard as it was, she hated the fact that she was manipulated, but above all she hated herself for knowing that she was too blind to see it at first.

She did her best to clear her conscience. That meant that she had to come clean with Can. And when she did, her heart cried with sorrows of poets and dreamers all rolled into one. Though her conscience had cleared, her life felt a void. The space next to her where Can used to stand, was now occupied by a big hole of sorrows. But she stayed by his side. The pain of seeing him every day only made her yearn for him more. She vowed she would make him understand that she was pure and that what happened was because of Emre. And through a lucky turn of events, she found herself in his arms again. The amber necklace from the princess of the sea trully worked its magic and brought her Can back to her.

When she heard him say that she was his beloved, something had shifted deep in her soul. She was no longer just in love, but she now loved. Two simple meanings, but ones that mean so much more if they are felt at the same time. She belonged to Can, in more ways than one. That kind of love only makes you love more...

Yet another mistake was to come in her life. Her love for Can meant more than the world to her. She did not think twice about giving up their scent just to be sure Can would be free. She did not know that she walked into a trap set so conveniently by Fabri himself. And when Can found out, he revealed to Sanem that what she had done was end his trust for her and their love. Yet she stayed by Can for the second time. As much as it hurt, she understood that she could not give up on their one and true love.

She gave it all her best, but it was not enough. He chose Polen and that was too much for Sanem. She always felt worse, inferior to Polen. Though on the outside Sanem made it appear that her confidence was untouched, she suffered and vowed to protect her aching heart. Yet, she stayed again, for the third time in a row. And because she stayed, she realized she could never leave. Not Can, and not where she was at.

So she stayed three times, again and again. For that is what you do for the one that you love. But to her soul, she could not understand why when their love was tested because of Yigit, Can chose to walk. The steps he took walking away seemed like milestones that could never be overcome...

And now that he was back, the pain of those steps felt more real than ever. She was still the same Sanem, still a dreamer and a romantic soul. Her soul sang whenever Can was near, but her heart kept reminding her of the pain that was still inside. She braced herself, and admitted to him that where she chose to stay by his side over and over, he chose to walk. And she knew those words hurt him, but they had to be said.

She gathered her strenght yet again, and told him she had no faith left. But the meaning of those words was a cry out for help. Though those words were honest and true, what she trully meant was that she was yearning for that faith in them again. Her silent cry for that faith kept creeping back to her heart and her soul whenever Can was near. How could she make him leave and beg him to stay all in one thought? That silent battle within gave her no peace. As much as she felt hurt by their ending love, she begged all the virtues for him to come back. Not only to stay, but to stay by her side.

And she soon realized just how much his life meant to her, when not long after she told him her faith was gone, he walked into the fire that re-egnited their love...