A MAN'S SORROW CUTS DEEPER

No going back...

Life was unfair. Can knew that all too well. Life also found amazing ways of rewarding past sorrows. What felt like impossible dreams in the past could one day become sweetest of realities. Can Divit felt this truth at the very moment...

So many sleepless nights passed in the last year when Can gazed into the starry night and wished upon each star he saw that he could spend one more day with Sanem. One more night. Or even one more minute. He could not pinpoint exactly the moment he fell deeply in love with Sanem. Was it when he kissed her for their very first time? Was it when she acted everso childishly when they got lost in the woods on their way to Agua? Was it when she almost fell from the rock and he held her to save her but in the process lost himself in her innocent eyes full of love? Was it when he saw her at the foot of the stairs in the pink gown he personally chose for her? Or maybe when she danced in his arm at his mountain home, all full of trust in him? Perhaps it was when she found him in the woods and asked him not to leave, only to spend the night lying next to him on the ground, staring into his eyes? Was it when he found out that it was Emre who tricked her into believing that he was a bad man even when he himself partnered with Aylin, and when he went to Sanem's family's store to ask her to come back to the agency and she showed him how much she loved him by coming back? Maybe it was the moment they were stuck in the elevator and he cowardly told her they could only be friends, when all he really wanted to do was embrace her and confess she would never be just a friend to him?

There were many times he saw his love for her escape his heart, but he was too shy to admit to himself just how much he needed her. When he held her in his arms after she had the nightmare, and he watched her fall asleep, he knew he needed her more than she needed him. When he found her at the bottom of the pit and climbed out with her, what he actually did was save the both of them. For he realized how much she would always mean to him, and how much he needed her in his life...

Those thoughts returned to him the moment Sanem stepped foot on to his boat. They were alone again, just the two of them. How was it possible that when they were alone they let their feelings speak louder than words? Their touches spoke volumes, their gazes spoke for themselves. One look was enough to light a fire within their soul. One touch, however innocent or coincidental, was enough to pull at the heart and make them feel loved...

It was the touch as innocent as it was premeditated on his part that made Sanem realize that Can held the helm of the boat. He never forced it, he simply caressed. And he made it evident that he now held the reigns of their future. There was no more going back. He knew she would never fully give up that power over their life, but for now she was completely taken aback and knew he called all the shots. And although she seemed mad, she could not hide her satisfaction from catching up to him either.  Stuck on the boat together, for the moment at least, brought back so many happy memories for Can. Her happy illogical antics always gave him so much joy. She always seemed to overreact to pretty much everything. And Can knew that this was part of her charm. She did not think of what she would do. She simply did it. Much as she did so at that very moment. He could hardly hold in his laugh when she wanted to jump overboard. He watched her reaction when he threw their phones into the water, and he saw she masked the happy excitement with despair. She had the cutest way of doing so. When she impatiently yelled into the boat's radio asking if there wasn't anyone out there he fought the urge to tell her that is not the proper way to ask that question, much as he did when they were stuck in the elevator and she asked the same question that time. The fact that logic and reason were two words that were almost non-existent in her vocabulary only added to her charm...

Can looked at Sanem, and each time his eyes fell upon her his heart beat louder and louder out of his chest. She came to him on the boat, freely and all on her own. This still felt unreal. For all the times he dreamed of it and wished for it, the reality was so much greater. She came to him with an open heart, and he could feel it. Little by little, one gaze and one smile at a time, they were getting closer to each other again. And all he could think of was that their hearts were once again beginning to quietly drum to the beat of each other's rhytm.