taekoooook
Jungkook has been in love with Taehyung all his life. Taehyung finds out.
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"So why haven't you ever dated anyone?" Taehyung finally exclaimed. "If it makes you so upset that I'm worried about your apparent lack of intimacy and desire to be close to another human being, why haven't you ever given any indication to the contrary?"
"Because I've been in love with you, God damn it!"
The silence is deafening. Taehyung is staring, open-mouthed and wide-eyed at him, arms frozen in the air and hair wild, but not even the amount of shock he's showing can stop the flood of confessions that's seemingly rushing out of Jeongguk's mouth, now that his mouth his heart his weak weak heart couldn't bear to keep quiet another second.
"I've been in love with you for as long as I can remember," he shares tiredly, suddenly feeling both defeated and deflated despite the outburst. He's rubbing at his eyes don't cry don't cry don't cry to spare himself from having to see the undoubtedly disgusted look in Taehyung's eyes. "My entire life, I have loved you. I don't remember a single moment of my life where I didn't love you."
More silence. He's rubbing twisting scratching his hands now, eyes clamped firmly shut in a desperate attempt to cage his impending tears his breaking heart his shattering soul from escaping him and baring even more of his fractured self to the boy in front him.
"The reason why you've never seen me with a boy- or girlfriend, why I've always turned down every set-up everyone's tried to arrange, why I sometimes shy away from hanging out with couples. The reason is that I have been so terribly, immensely, helplessly in love with you, Kim Taehyung. I have been so madly in love with you that I have never been able to imagine myself to be romantically interested in anyone but you. You have been 'it' for me for years, and I came to terms with the fact that I will probably never be in a romantic relationship a long time ago."
He quietens down to take a few shaking breaths, only opening his eyes to stare at his hands which are now marked with angry red and white lines where his fingernails appear to have dug in. Taehyung still hasn't said a word, and Jeongguk is frankly surprised that he's even standing here listening and not out the door, running as far away from Jeongguk as possible.
"In all the years I've known you, Taehyung, you have never expressed any interest towards guys, despite knowing that most of your friends are gay and would be nothing but supportive. I know that I'm lucky to have you as my best friend, Tae. That that's the peak of our relationship and that you love me. I know all of that and I treasure our friendship just as highly as I treasure you, Taehyung , as the best person I have ever known. That's the truth and that's why I have never uttered a word about this to you. To anyone, really. I don't want you to think that I have gone all these years waiting for you, or thinking that you have been harbouring some secret crush for me all this time, or that you will get some sort of revelation by hearing this and telling me that 'yes, jeongguk, i love you too'. I know that's not going to happen, just as I have known it for years already. I've imagined this scenario a couple of times actually, and not once have I wound up with a romantic, realistic , result. We're not children and we're not even teenagers anymore. Maybe as a child I had some hope that one day - one day - you would start to feel nervous around me as well, want to impress me as well, wonder what it would feel like to hold my hand as well... but as we grew up and grew into ourselves and I learnt more about you, I realised that that kind of love wasn't for us. It wasn't for you towards me, at least, and probably not for you or any other boy either. Which comforted me a little, until you got together with Ana.
