jeonjeonggukkkkkie (ao3)
Jeongguk has maybe been in love with Taehyung since the moment he was born. And it's fine, because Taehyung is the bestest friend in the world, and the most caring person he's ever met, and Jeongguk really doesn't even care that one day he'll watch Taehyung fall in love and get married and end up with someone decidedly not Jeongguk - because, well, at least he's got something.
He can live with that.
What he can't live with, is Taehyung's recent obsession with finding Jeongguk someone to kiss at midnight on New Year's.
--
"You could literally sneeze all on me and say "Merry Christmas" and I'd be touched that you thought of me," Jeongguk says, rolling eyes at the panicking Taehyung. "Besides, don't pull that "Your gift just hasn't gotten here" crap on me, I know you wait until Christmas morning to get your gifts for people because the deals are better."
"God, fuck you, you could at least pretend you don't know," Taehyung replies, pouting from his stool at their apartment's island ("Look Guk! An island! We can just put chairs there and we don't even have to get a table!" but they forgot they had five friends coming over all the time, and that meant seven stools squeezed around one island. "Oh well, at least there's leg room," Taehyung had said when they realised).
Jeongguk, sprawled on their couch and scrolling mindlessly through Instagram, couldn't care less. "Uh huh," he replies, ignoring the dramatics. Ignoring, after all, was step one on the Make Taehyung Realise He's In Love With You guide that Jimin had made for him in the notes on his phone. Did Jeongguk believe Jimin that Taehyung was in love with him? Not really. But he'd been following Taehyung around since they were little kids, in and out of schools and friend groups and all the way to this shared college and shared apartment - a guy could dream.
The list was fairly simply, pretty cliche, and nothing Jeongguk hadn't tried before, but it was entertaining to read, he supposed.
Make Taehyung Realise He's In Love With You (a helpful guide by Park Jimin)
1.Ignore his lazy ass till he sees that he goes thru his whole day bugging you and that he needs you
2.Make him work for your love so he realises how much he wants it
3.Maybe kiss a pretty boy around him so that it hits him that he's the only pretty boy you should be kissing
4.Wear hot clothes because you gotta go thru a mans dick to get to his heart ig
5.Write him a song!! God guk you know he'd love that
6.Ask him to watch you dance lol he loves that shit
7.Confess, you idiot
Ignore his lazy ass till he sees that he goes thru his whole day bugging you and that he needs youMake him work for your love so he realises how much he wants itMaybe kiss a pretty boy around him so that it hits him that he's the only pretty boy you should be kissingWear hot clothes because you gotta go thru a mans dick to get to his heart igWrite him a song!! God guk you know he'd love thatAsk him to watch you dance lol he loves that shitConfess, you idiot
Been there, done that, bought the T - shirt. The longest Jeongguk had succeeded in ignoring Taehyung was a hot five hours, because he lost his phone and Taehyung was visiting family that weekend. They had planned on going together, but Jeongguk had extra work for a group project due soon, and the whole five hours he had spent missing his best friend, so. Maybe ignoring Taehyung wasn't his strong suit.
The problem with making Taehyung 'work for his love' was that Taehyung didn't seem to care less. Jeongguk stopped making breakfast for the two of them for a week, just to see what would happen, and stopped feeding Taehyung's fish, and the only results were Taehyung forgetting to eat and his fish dying.
