I will always love you even if I say I don't (Demi Lovato Fan Fiction) (GirlxGirl)

Chapter 42: I Can't Loose You Alex....

Previously: I try to relax myself and it seems to be working, when I am calm I try to figure out what I was feeling I can't like Rachel I don't even know her and it would break Demi's heart if I told her should I tell Demi? I can't like Rachel I don't even know, but why do I feel the need to protect her I don't know why I really don't.......

Alex's Pov:

After a while of thinking I decide to go back I walk in and I see Dallas, Sabrina and Maddie sitting down in the couch they see me and Dallas says "oh my god Alex where have you been?" "oh um I went for a walk" Sabrina says "Demi is really worried" "were is she?" "in the backyard" I smile "thanks" I walk to the back and I see Demi with mine and her parents, Lauren, Chris and Rachel, Demi see's me and runs over to me "oh my god baby where have you been?" she hugs me and wraps her arms around my neck I wrap mine around her waist and say "oh um I just went for a walk that's all I'm sorry for just leaving like that" she smiles "it's ok just please don't do that again" I smile "I promise I won't" she smiles and pecks my lips I look at Chris and Rachel and they were holding hands and Chris says "Alex can I talk with you?" I look away and say "um now is not the time Chris, Demi and I are going out" Demi says "we are?" "yeah I was going to ask you to come with me somewhere" "oh ok".

My dad says "Alex I was going to give you this" he hands me $500 and I say "whoa what's this for dad?" "so you and Chris can knock yourselves out buying fireworks" "oh ok um well" then my mom says "Alex are you ok?" I rub my head "yeah yeah I'm fine" Demi rubs my forehead "babe your burning up and you are sweating" "I think it's just hot" my mom comes and touches my forehead "no you are really burning go and lay Back on the beach chair" I go and lay back and Demi comes and sits on the edge of the chair and rubs my hair and says "you really are burning up are you sure you are ok?" "yeah I'm sure" "take off your shirt babe so the air can hit you?" I take off my Black plaid shirt and Demi grabs it and says "babe relax you seem to be breathing hard" I take a deep breath and my mom came back with a towel and says "Alex did you take your medication today already?" I look down at my hands because I remembered that I haven't "um" "you haven't hu?" "no I um didn't get a chance too" Demi says "that is why you are burning up and breathing heavy" my mom whacks my head and she says "oh my god Alex you were supposed to take it right away" "I'm sorry I just blanked out I guess" my mom says "I'm gonna go get it" she leaves and Demi says. "babe what's wrong you seem kind of distant?" "I need to tell you something but I'm just afraid that you are going to get mad" "babe you know you can tell me anything" "I know I'm just afraid because I know that this is going to hurt you" "please babe just tell me" I sigh and prepare myself to tell her "Demi I" but of course we were interrupted by my mom she comes and says "here drink it now" she gives it to me and I drink it and says "ok just relax now" I give her a small smile "ok" and my mom leaves.

Demi says "babe whatever it is that you need to tell me I don't think it is going to get me mad because I know that whatever it is it's hurting you I can see it in your eyes" I take a deep breath and Say to myself ok well here I go I'm probably about to loose the love of my life "ok well um earlier today your my mom asked me to go and wake up everyone else and so I went to wake up Dallas and the girls and Rachel wasn't there then I went into Chris's room and I see them both in bed and they weren't wearing any clothes" she looks at me shocked yet confused and says "what are you serious?" "yeah" "oh my god I understand now why that made you mad your brother is 16 and she is 19" "um well that wasn't exactly it" "ok then what was it?" "when I saw them in bed together I don't know why but I felt jealous seeing them together" she looks at me confused "what do you mean you felt jealous?" "I don't know I just I felt the need to protect her or something and I couldn't do that if Chris is there" she looks at me and says "do you like Rachel?" "no I don't like her or I don't think I do, which is why I don't know why I am feeling like this" "you said you felt the need to protect her" "yeah" "then you do like her Alex" she looks away and rubbed her eyes and I knew she was crying "babe I don't like her" but of course she didn't look at me or say something "babe please look at me" she gets up and says "I'm not mad Alex I I I just I can't loose you Alex especially to her" she walks away but I decided to leave her alone she needs time if I go after her right now who know what will happen so I decide to let her go.

(A/N: Special Pov coming and you guys might hate me)

Rachel's Pov:

What did I do why did I sleep with Chris? No no no this was all a mistake, now Chris thinks that he is in love with me ughhh I am so stupid. After Alex left Chris told me that he thinks he is love with me which is dumb because we just met and honestly I don't think I feel nothing for Chris no I don't feel nothing at all actually I just slept with him to make Alex Jealous because I am in love with Alex and I have been since we hooked up that day at the airport. I honestly thought that Alex was going to call me after that and I waited for such a long time and tried to figure where she was but I couldn't find her. And when I found out that Alex and a Demi were together I was so upset and hurt because she never called me and she got with my cousin who I hate sooo much.

Ok I don't hate Demi to the point where I want to kill her no that's just psychotic but I think I am just jealous because everyone favorites her my own parents even love her they once told me that they wish Demi was their daughter instead of me and that hurt me so much I have been through soooo much since then I am always doing drugs drinking and worst of all I am cutting now because those demons in my head keep reminding me of how worthless I am, to Demi I know it seems that everyone loves me but that's all a lie everyone loves her and like I said even my own parents love her.

When I met Alex I know we had a sexual moment but the way Alex touched me and made me feel was amazing she made me feel beautiful she made me feel safe someone that can heal my heart someone that will be there for me and won't hurt me we didn't speak much but after that moment I couldn't stop thinking about Alex and I hoped and prayed that she would call me but it never happened I tried to move on but it didn't really help and when I saw her with Demi I was happy because I finally saw her again but I was really hurt that she was Demi I know that a Demi loves and Alex most likely loves Demi and they seem happy together but I also love Alex and I know that Alex will never love me back or anything because the voices in my head are right I am worthless everyone hates me it would be better for them if I didn't exist I know my parents would be happy if I didn't exist that's for sure.

At that moment I was already why was I so stupid and worthless Alex could never love me never I was nobody to her, she won't love me even after I tried to ruin her and Demi's relationship at this point I was in the restroom crying my demons where taking over me and they kept telling me to cut and so I took out my and slid it across my wrist and I did it again and again I saw a lot of blood running down my hands and next thing you know the door opens and the last person I saw was someone I never wanted to see me like this but I immediately passed out......

Why does Alex feel the need to protect Rachel?

Is Demi and Alex relationship over?

What do you guys think about Rachel?

Who did Rachel see before she passed out?

Hey you guys so here is chapter 42 hope you guys like it, so normally this idea wasn't part of the story but to make it interesting I decided to add some drama to it and change it up a little bit so I hope you guys like that. Anyways please vote/ comment below on what you guys think and thank you soooo much for reading my story it means a lot to me I love you guys! :)

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P.S- Next update will be Thursday! :D