The Greatest Assist (Patrick Kane)

22| Guilty

Patrick

I go to the airport to pick up Chelsea's friends and family and I bring them to their hotel that was right next to the hospital. Once their things are dropped off and they get settled in we head over to the hospital. I take them to her room and I was hoping that she would be awake when I got here. But her eyes were still shut as we fill the room.

"This is awful" her friend Marissa says as she looks at her laying in the bed. Her color had returned but she still liked frozen in a way.

"That poor girl. I've never seen anything like this" her brother Tatum says. And he was a police officer so if it rattled him you know it's bad.

I let out a sigh as I shake my head. "I'm so sorry you guys" I sniffle. Here come the water works. Again.

"This isn't your fault" Bryan tries.

"I know I didn't make the ice break but if it wasn't for me she wouldn't have even been out there. And if I was just a little quicker or a little smarter maybe I could have gotten there in time. Maybe I could have stoped her from going under" I whimper.

"They told us how you went in after her. How you found her and pulled her out. If she was under for a second longer she would have drowned and they wouldn't have been able to get her back. If it wasn't for you risking everything you have to go help her we would be looking in a morgue right now and not a hospital bed" Bryan argues.

"I just feel so awful. I'm taking a great girl from this world and it doesn't deserve that" I whisper.

He rests his hand on my shoulder as he gives me a squeeze. He pulls me into my side as my chin falls to my chest.

"Don't feel so bad. She's going to wake up and she is going to want to see you. No one is more head strong that Chels is, she's the strongest person I know. She's going to pull through" he claims.

"I don't want to lose her" I insist. "I've only been with her for 3 months but it's been a great 3 months. I have changed so much of who I am so I can be as great as she is. And she's become someone I can't live without. I hate this" I sniffle.

"We miss her too buddy. But we need to be strong for her like she was for us" Tatum insists.

"I can try" I mumble.

At about noon we meet with she doctors for some updates. The good news is that her brain is more active and she's responding to more stimulus. The bad news is if she doesn't wake up soon the damage to her brain might be irreversible.

So we go to the family room where no one says a single word. I sit with my head between my legs just trying to keep it together. "She really likes you, you know" a soft voice says and I look up. I see Marissa standing there looking down at me. "The first time she met you she called me and told me all about you. And not what you can read in the papers but the type of guy you are. She always believed in you and now you have to believe in her" she explains.

I silent nod my head as I agreed with her. "I'll do whatever she needs me to" I promise.

Eventually her and Chelsea's brothers go find some food after a long night last night. That left me with Kanan who hasn't said one word since he got here. He didn't want to leave for the same reasons I didn't, just in case she wakes up. I know he was over protective of Chelsea and that they're really close. I've seen the pictures and heard the stories. I know this was hard for him but his silence was deadly.

"Please say something" I beg.

"I don't think you would like what I have to say" he mumbles.

I let out a sigh as my shoulders fall. "I can't tell you how much I regret everything that happened that day. I wish we would have stayed in the pier and we went to the show and called it a day. I wish that I was faster so I could have pulled her up sooner. If I could do anything right now I would go back and stop this all from happening" I try.

"Why? Because you feel guilty? Because you don't want your hands dirty" he questions.

"Is that seriously what you think" I gasp. "I care for Chelsea like she's my only friend. Because a lot of times she is the only person who actually cares about me and she's the only person I care about. But that's not why I like her, no. Her kindness is what makes me attracted to her, like a magnet. For the first time in my life I finally connected with someone, I finally felt for someone who wasn't me and now she's in that bed fighting for her life. You think what I'm feeling is just guilt? My heart is broken because I don't get to look in her eyes and see them sparkle. I don't have a chance to make her smile before she tries to hide it from me. And that kills me" I nearly yell.

"If you cared you never would have let her go out there in the first place" he screams.

"I let her go because I do care, because I'm not trying to hold her back from living her life. I'm her friend not someone who is trying to control her life telling her what she can and can't do. She has you for that. I don't want to protect her, she's capable of that all by herself. I want her to grow, to spread her wings and not be the one telling her no all the time. She's been told no her whole life and she gets to live the life she wants to here, not the one people say she wants. She has showed me a lot of about herself. It took a while but she opened up and as it turns out all she wanted was to be free of her life she had in LA. Me trying to control her actions would have made her felt chained again" I defend.

"Those chains kept her on the ground and out of the water" Kanan argues.

"How is she supposed to fly if she's chained" I ask.

He stops once he realized that my agenda here wasn't to be her baby sitter or the trouble maker. I wanted her to be happy and to be free. I want her to be safe but I want her to be herself, not some girl scared of the world. Not willing to fly high enough to see the world for what it is. She taught me that and I don't want anyone to ever forget that.

"All I know is that if she doesn't wake up that is something you're going to have to live with" he accuses.

I feel my heart drop when I hear that. I don't want to lose her and I don't want to be the reason I lost her. If she doesn't wake up I'm not sure I can do this anymore. Be here or playing hockey. I would want to be far away from everything that reminded me of her.

Just in time Marissa comes in and cuts up the tension. She looks between us before turning to Kanan.

"Good news, Chelsea is starting to wake up" she announces. I perk up as my heart beats harder.

"She's awake" I squeal.

"Not exactly. But she's more conscious and aware. She has physical reactions to stimulation and a delayed response but better than none at all. They think she will wake up sometime tomorrow" she explains.

"That's the greatest news I've ever gotten" I admit.

"I bet she will want to see you when she wakes" she insists.

"Man I hope so" I sigh.