The Greatest Assist (Patrick Kane)

63| One True Queen

Chelsea

The house building process was moving right along just as the summer was. I bet Patrick didn't want to spend his first extended summer in a while working, but he was doing such a good job. Once the concrete was set they put up the walls and the frame of the house was almost complete. I'm mostly excited to do flooring and painting and decorating, that was more of my thing. But Patrick loved the concept of making something with his won two hands, being more than a hockey player. That and he wants to rub it in the face of everyone that he indeed could build a future he could be excited about.

So we continue to lend a hand where we can help them out. Patrick was making a lot of friends with this as they give them a hard time and he gives it right back.

I sit back for aa while and watch them do their thing. I would probably just hold them back if I tried to help right now. I'm not physically strong and would be a osha violation at best. So I decide to go on a walk and try to get to know the neighborhood. I find the park Patrick was taking about and I smile as I watch a young family play on the baby equipment. They all had the biggest smiles on their face and it warmed my heart to see that. I always loved the idea of parks, families spending time together eating food and having fun. My parents thought parks were germ infested children jails and in a way I guess they were right. But it doesn't mean I didn't want to go to the park with my friends, make memories and know that I can go there and have a good time. So I sit on a park bench and let this life pass me by.

I hear my phone ring in my pocket and I quickly answer it. I see it was Marissa and I smile, I loved when she called.

"Hey Princess" she starts and I softly gasp.

"Only Patrick can call me that" I pout.

"And your whining just proves that you're a princess" she accuses.

"Whatever. Is there a reason you called or was it just to annoy me" I question.

"There is a reason. Did you realize what today was" she asks.

I freeze in my spot as all the air got sucked out of me. I was hoping she forgot about that, but I can see why it might be a little hard for her to do that.

"No" I lie as she lets out a long sigh.

"You're a shit liar, you know that" she accuses.

"Yeah well I can't help that. I hate lying so I don't want to get better at it" I defend.

"Stop trying to change the subject" she demands. "How are you? Where are you at right now?"

"I'm at the park by myself. But I'm fine, I swear" I plead.

"I don't want you by yourself today. Can you please go be with Patrick" she begs.

"I can't be with Patrick" I argue.

"And why the hell not" she questions.

"Because... because he doesn't know" I whisper.

"I don't know what" his voice rings out. I turn around to see him standing there looking kinda pissed. He was all sweaty meaning he was working hard, I was hoping he wouldn't have noticed I sneaked off because he was into his work.

"Oh shit" I mumble. "Marissa I gotta call you back" I tell her.

"Wait! I'm not done talking to you" she insists.

"I'm about to get a talking to" I assure her.

I hang up and slip my phone in my pocket. Patrick comes and stands right in front of me so I had no choice but to look him in his eyes.

"Explain... now" he demands.

"I don't want to talk about it" I try.

"Listen. I can take you walking away without you telling me where you're going. I can take you being out here by yourself even though this place is still new to us.

I can't take you holding things from me. We started this relationship because we are the only people we trust with these kinds of things. I need to know that you're going to be okay and I can't know that if you're keeping things from me.

So spill it..." he trails off.

My eyes fall to the ground as I start to swing my legs. This is where being so short is kind of nice. "A year ago today was when I tried to take my own life. I should have been on top of the world, my boyfriend had just won his second ring in two years, my job had been such a joy and I was successful. I should have been the happiest girl in the world.

But when I woke up that morning I couldn't stand to go on another day living the way I was. Waking up with him wasn't a dream, it was a nightmare and I was willing to end the nightmare. My life wasn't anything like it should be, it was a endless cycle of pain and sadness. I didn't want to spend another second telling people that I was okay, that I was happy. If I had to fake one more smile I was going to lose it.

So I went to the bathroom and grabbed some of the pills the Lakers gave Jordan for god knows what I just he had at the time. All I knew was that they were strong and they made him bearable for a little at a time. If they were strong enough to temporarily fix the sad excuse of a man he was then it surely could have solved all my problems by ending me. 

So I took a handful and I stopped. I broke down because I didn't really want to die, I just wanted the pain to stop. I wanted so bad for it to be all over, but the problem was that the "it" I wanted to be over was my life. But my conscious got the best of me and I called Kanan in a panic. I couldn't get it all out of
my system before I got sick and passed out. He found me in Jordan's apartment half dead and took me to the hospital. They pumped the pills out of me and it was about this time a year ago I woke up. The only people there was Kanan and Marissa, Jordan was at the apartment not having a clue what happened, my family didn't know at all.

Up until you I never told anyone, not even Lizzie. So I don't usually talk about it. I'm sorry for not telling you but I thought that if I didn't say anything that whole situation will go away" I sigh.

He sits down next to me and softly grabs my hand. He pulls my closer as I rest my head on his shoulder. "I'm sorry I got upset. But the only way that this gets any better is if we get through it together. You know that. I know you don't like to talk about it but it doesn't change the fact that it happened and I almost didn't get the best thing to ever happen to me. I could have continued throwing my life away because you threw yours away too.

But now is a perfect time to celebrate the fact that you have friends who love you so much, and care about you more than anything else. And because of that I found the love of my life and I can build a future with her" he explains.

"Since when were you the sensible one" I tease.

"Since you decided to be the drama queen. But I'm happy to switch it up once in a while as long as you know I'm the one true queen" he jokes.

I just laugh as I look up at him. I know he only said that to make me smile and I love that about him. "Thank you for chasing after me, even though I really wasn't running away from you. I just wanted to enjoy the park" I defend.

"I'll follow you anywhere" he promises.