The Greatest Assist (Patrick Kane)

24| Always Do

Patrick

After they stabilize Chelsea and she starts to improve they move her to the neurology part of the hospital. There she was starting therapy and treatments to help her feel better and hopefully have her out of here by Christmas. The hard part was trying to predict what her brain was going to do because no 2 brains are alike and no one really knows what is going to happen next. Maybe she will wake up one day feeling fine, maybe there is a part of her brain that is damaged and it won't show up on the scans and she will have a aneurism and die. Of course there's a low chance of that happening but it's not impossible, thats what scares me. But like always she was in good spirits, she has me bring her the book she carries around with her and her laptop so she can start working again. I was against it but she was begging for some normalcy in her life and this was it.

"What are you doing for Christmas" she wonders as I shrug. "I can fly you home for the day if you would like. Or see if your family wants to stay a extra few days into the holiday" she insists.

"I was kinda just hoping I can spend it with you. I know your brothers have to head home soon because one is the governor and the other is a police officer and your friends have family back home to get to. So I figured since you'll be stuck here in Chicago I'll be stuck here with you" I explain.

She gives me a big smile as she nods her head. "I think that would be pretty cool" she admits.

So she doesn't schedule anything for me on Christmas so it can be free and we can do whatever we would like. She finishes out the schedule for this month and the next one before she had to go do speech therapy. She was still slurring some words and had trouble with others so they were making sure she can live her life without any altercations from the accident. She also has counseling because in the case of a tragic event such as this one no one is going to be okay. And she can talk to me but I'm no psychologist, I don't understand how she would be feeling and know how to make her feel better. I'm just the guy who wants to be here for her as much as I can, even if she made me go back to playing hockey.

I find her brothers in the cafeteria and I sit with them. Tatum offers me some food but I respectfully decline because I wasn't hungry. I know I haven't been eating like I should but my stomach is still turning from being in that cold water. "I mean this in the nicest way possible, but you look a mess" he insists.

I haven't slept much in the past week and some and I haven't been eating either. But since I'm playing again my body doesn't like the fact I'm not taking care of it and still trying to be a professional athlete. I can see the concerns too but at this point I don't care about me, just about getting Chelsea better.

"I'm not offended in the least, which is funny considering I used to care so much about how I looked, about how people saw me. But this whole thing made me realize that I care more about Chelsea being okay again than myself. It's a weird feeling to have because I've been focused on me my whole life, for the first time I don't care what happened to me. I just want her to be okay" I sigh.

"She will be thanks to you. You're paying for all her treatments and for us to help her through it. You're a saint Patrick" Bryan tries.

"I'm no saint" I laugh. "I just... I care about her a lot, you know? And I don't know what I would do if I were to lose her. If I couldn't look into her eyes and see her smile anymore. I have a lot of great things happen since I've moved to Chicago but she is the greatest and it's not even close. I just want her to know that" I explain.

"Well have you told her" Bryan asks.

I let out a sigh as I just shake my head in shame. "No, I can't" I defend.

"Why not" he wonders.

"She wouldn't believe me. I worked so hard to convince everyone that I'm not a guy capable of feeling these kind of things it worked on her and it worked on me" I sigh.

"Did you know that the first thing she asked when she woke up was if you were okay" Tatum says.

"No, I didn't know that" I admit.

"This connection you guys feel, it isn't business related, it's deeper than that. Yeah she is good at her job and you're good at yours. But that's not what makes you two good together. It's the fact that two people who swore to never trust anyone trusts each other. It's because you guys have these feelings for each other and even though you ignore them, they're still there" Bryan insists

"I can't like her" I defend.

"But you do. That has to mean something" he tries.

I let out a sigh as I try to think about this. But every time I try to figure it out I just end up more confused than I was before. She would never be with a guy like me, to her life is precious and to me life is a game. That's how we ended up here in the first place. Even if I do like her it wouldn't mean anything. It couldn't mean anything.

"It means everything to me and to her alone, but to us it can't mean anything" I insist.

"You're starting to sound like our parents, and that's not a good thing" Bryan says.

"I'm like this because I care too much, not because I don't care enough" I defend.

"You're right. But the fact that you're telling yourself that your feelings aren't important to this relationship is how you let life win" he argues.

"My feelings aren't important right now, Chelsea's health is" I insist.

"And what about when she's better, what then" he wonders.

"I don't know" I admit. "I need her by my side for her skills, for her outlook on life, for her understanding of me and my place in this world, for her want for me to be happy, for me to be happy because of her" I explain.

"How can you expect any of that to happen if you have this thing between you guys that neither of you want to talk about" he asks.

"I'm not sure" I admit. "But we will figure it out. We always do."