PROMISE

The Talk

Gaga watched the lights and the people that crowded the streets in the city that never sleeps. She leaned against the window of the car, reflecting on how much her life has changed. Her persona that she breathed on stage preached acceptance, love, kindness, trust. But her love life never seemed to get the message. Bradley was a perfect example of someone who changed for her, wanted to do better, wanted to listen to the message but even then it all seemed to fall short. The car came to a stop. It clicked. She finally found someone she was willing to change for. The thought was scary and soon fled to the back of her mind with one sound. 

"Mama!!" Jackson leapt into Gaga's arms the moment she walked through the door. He shuttered through his tantrum, as he calmed down in a tired fit. 

"I'm going to check on Ava, I'd be surprised if she slept through all of that." Bradley took the stairs two at a time to check on the little girl. Upon returning, he found Gaga roaming around the living room with a hiccuping Jackson, who was quickly overcome with exhaustion. 

"I must be a little rusty." Bradley crossed his arms watching her soothe him to sleep. "Sorry, you came all this way."

"Don't worry about it, I was up. And it's not you, he has been having these little fits every night before bed. I probably should have warned you." She kept her back to him, humming calming things into Jacksons little ears. 

"Care to share your secret?"

Gaga lightly bounces Jackson in her arms, turning to finally face Bradley. Every time she saw his eyes, the flutter in her stomach returned. "Honestly?" Bradley swallowed and nodded, taking in her beauty. "The first few times he would just cry himself to sleep very late into the night. Then he started calling for you, so I would put on your shirt, that Eagles one you let me borrow. It smells like you still and for some reason that calmed him down." By the time she finished confessing her compromising trick, she realized how close Bradley had gotten. One of his hands lay flat on Jacksons back, the other lightly on her elbow. "He missed daddy....we both did." She confessed. 

Bradley closed the distance, pulling them into him, his hands resting on her lower back. He whispered into her ear, "I miss you so much." 

Gaga shifted Jackson over, sliding her free arm up around Bradleys neck, holding his head to look right at her. "Why did you leave me?" She pulled firmly but lightly on the hair at his nape, showing her frustrations with him. 

Bradley connected their foreheads, holding them tighter. "Let me put him down." He softly transferred Jackson over into his arms. "Can you stay?" She simply nodded, protectively wrapping her arms around herself. When Bradley returned, he found Gaga staring at a photograph over the mantle. 

"I never noticed this before. Is this you?"

"That's me, with my mom and dad." Gaga smiled at the photo. She felt him slip his hand into hers, "Come here." He led them to the couch. Gaga waited patiently, watching the gears in his head turn trying to figure out where to start. "I'm sorry I left. Stefani, I don't know how to do this. I was never this guy. That was Henry, always the romantic. I was perfectly fine being me. When Lilly came along, then the kids, that was all the family I needed. Then there was you." Bradley finally looked up to meet her tearing eyes. Each time he looked at her, he just about lost his breath. "It was always you."

Gaga didn't understand. "We fell for each other. It was unexpected, yes but-"

"I think I loved you the moment I first met you." His statement caused her heart to beat faster. "Beautiful, yes but curious and funny and loud, yet shy. I don't know. It was a new feeling. I know I had a stupid way of showing it." He read her mind by the look on her face. "I lit your dress on fire, to see you out of it. I smeared your makeup to see your natural beauty. Pushing you in the pool was my greatest accomplishment. I got to take you home to change. Even you hitting me and yelling in the passenger seat was a glorious moment, I drove even slower to spend more time with you." 

Gaga was furious over his confession. "Why didn't you say anything! I already forgave you for all that!"

"I can't be your Henry. I was never that guy and when we started to mutually fall for each other, I already started off wrong. I had your body before I had your heart. I already fucked up."

"Be my Bradley. That's all I want, that's all I'll ever want or need." Her voice was desperate, she pressed closer to him as if the motion would absorb into his skin. 

"I don't think he's good enough for you. That's why I had to step away. Figure out my own issues. Be better for you, for them. You deserve so much more." They stayed silent. Gaga in that moment knew he was the one, not a doubt in her mind, she just needed him to realize that. 

"I'm not Lilly. I don't know how to raise those kids. I don't know how to give them or us a perfect family. But somehow we work. And you just have to trust that we'll figure things out. There's no one I want to try to figure things out with, other than you." 

Bradley knew she was being sincere and his heart was swelling beyond belief. He felt shaky over it and had to look away, smiling. "You know, I've been hanging out with your dad?" He told her almost not believing it himself. She laughed, the idea still ridiculous to her. "He's a man of few words, but they speak volumes. I understand his love for your mom. I kind of understand how you and Natali were raised and maybe why you are the the way you are."

"And how's that?"

"Open, honest, kind..." Bradley softly touched her cheek with the back of his hand. "He's helped me a lot. Love is stupid. It's unwarranted, unexpected, there are no rules and yet here I am, looking at you, nervous as all hell to tell you that I love you." 

"Bradley, I love you so much." She smoothed he hands over his shoulders to bring him close. He wrapped his arms around her waist. He half expected her to say it back, but it was her tone, defenses down that made him believe her.  "You can't leave when things get tough, when we fight, and we will fight, we're Italian, it's in our blood to be passionate." She pulled away to make sure her message sunk in. "When we make love it's fire, all consuming, you feel that, don't you?" He nodded against her forehead. "So, when we fight, baby it's the same fuel. You can't run, ok?"

"I won't. I'll fight for us, even if I break in two, I promise."  Bradley grabbed her face and pulled her in for an apologetic kiss. Gaga held on to his hands that framed her face as she met his pleading mouth, kiss for kiss. A weight lifted from their shoulders and their souls began to heal. "I'll never get tired of telling you I love you." He pulled her to sit on his lap. 

Gaga giggled and kissed his cheek, whispering "I love you, I love you, I love you." She pulled away and looked down at her hands.  

"Is something on your mind?" She hesitates. "I feel like there is something you want to tell me." 

"There is...can I tell you tomorrow?"

"Stef..."

"Tomorrow, I promise."

"Only if you spend the night. It's late." Gaga nodded at his compromise. 

Bradley turned off the lights and came to lay behind her in bed. His hand gently spread over her stomach, under her shirt. The small gesture forming a lump in her throat. Gaga curled her legs up slightly, leaning her head into the arm under her head. She placed her hand over his and looked down at their joint hands over her womb. The simple yet strong image the last she saw as sleep became her.