-It Do Be Like that Sometimes- |Laurance x reader|

45- I Couldn't Kill It

"YOU WHAT!?" I screamed, making everyone jump.

"Sorry," Travis apologised, as quiet as a mouse, "it was all spur of the moment."

"I'll show you spur of the moment." I threatened, storming up to him with my fist waved in the air. He cowered away like the pussy he is, and like on que, my stomach stared to rumble. I haven't eaten since breakfast.

For the last time of that day, I walked off again. "Where are you going?" Vylad asked, jogging to catch up with me.

"I'm going hunting, what else are we going to eat for dinner?" I replied.

Wow, I really am moody today.

"Shark week?" he continued to ask. Just the mention of this God forsaken punishment made my blood boil, Travis and Garroth both noticed that and began to tremble in fear, seeking each others comfort like the possibly gay couple they are.

"... What did you say?" I demanded, letting my hair cast a shadow over my eyes. "I really don't see how it's any of your business, Vylad." I said intensely, causing him to now realise his mistake and begin to tremble with fear as well.

I was too angry to actually listen to anything he had to say, "Just piss off, I was doing fine without you. You just better hope that Laur~Aphmau gets back with more supplies soon." I merged the two names, realising Aph is the one in charge and not Laurance.

I continued down my own mind-made path to try and find a deer or something. I hate killing animals, but sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do. Vylad continued to follow me and continuously tried to speak.

"I said to get the fuck away from me!" I warned, spinning around while doing so. It was then when my eyes felt heavy and I felt my cheek get wet. I was... Crying?

He stops whatever he was saying mid-sentence and takes a deep breath, speaking softly. "I want to help."

"Thanks, but whenever you're near, all I can think about is when you'll get fed up of me. I don't have time to worry about when you'll decide that you don't want to help and leave me again." I told him, walking up to him until we're only steps apart.

"I loved you, Vylad." I sighed, "for years you were all I would think about. You were my world, and once you left me, nothing even came close to filling the hole you left me with. No one could ever replace you."

He looked at me, confused as to why I'm saying this. "I never want to lose you," I said, intertwining our hands together, "but it's time to let go of what we had."

Vylad pulls me unto a hug. "I don't want to let you go, I love you."

I briefly hug back before separating us and resting my hands on his shoulders. "I love you too. All I want is to be near you, for you to hold me and never let go. But now, I can't tell if that's because I genuinely want you, or if it's out of fear on ending up alone again. Do you want me, or are you just used to me being there for you whenever you wanted? We can't keep pretending."

"I-I'm not pretending!" He said, pushing my hands away from him and taking a step closer to me with an intense look plastered on his face.

"You told me you'd never let me go again. But you left me on that same night and you've ran away more than once, leaving me to worry about you; leaving me confused. I didn't know whether you still wanted me or not. All I wanted for years was for you to come back to me." I took a step closer to Vylad, placing my hand by his ear.

"I planned on coming back." He whispered.

"When? For how long?" I asked, "I bet you never even knew yourself. I don't mind you leaving, but I need to know that you'll be back. I can't go through that again. It's time to face reality." I gently place my lips onto his for a brief moment. "You need to let me go."

Vylad couldn't say anything for a moment. All he could do was look at me.

I began to walk away, and he only managed to say something after I was out of earshot.

"I don't know how."

.

I sat down by a river, splashing my face and letting myself cool off. I then lie down on the grass, staring into the clouds. Did I do the right thing? Maybe I should've stayed in the Nether. This fucking sucks, Laurance literally just left but I still can't stop thinking about him. This is so dumb!

Maybe I am co-dependent, maybe I just can't process without him. Was I like this with Vylad? Feelings suck dix & cox. It does make sense though, I had never left Meteli before, and ever since then I was always by Laurance's side. He made me feel secure - he made me feel safe.

Then, just like magic, a deer appeared in front of me, peacefully drinking from the stream. I had picked up my dagger that I threw at Vylad, but I lost the one I chucked at the imp. I gazed at the knife, then looked at deer. I knew what I had to do, but I couldn't do it. I'm taking it's life. It hasn't done anything wrong at all, absolutely nothing, it's not even mildly hostile. What if I do and go on some rampage like I did that time after I got out of the Nether, or like what Laurance did with the werewolves at Aphmau's forced wedding... I don't even what to think about that.

All these thoughts were took over by a stronger, more powerful insecurity that shook me harder than anything else: what if he falls back in love with Aphmau? It's absolutely plausible, considering it was his tantrum of her marrying some other dude that got us into this mess.

Despite them travelling with Katelyn and with a few other people on the way back, they would definitely have had plenty of time alone. What if he starts to love her again? What if I become just a second thought again? What if I become his sisters disgusting friend like I was before? Did he ever stop loving her? Was I ever a first choice, or was he just treating me like one to get over his own problems?

All you have to do is dispose of them, then every problem will go away. Kill them and come back to the Nether, you'll be happy there.

Is the Nether trying to call to me, to bring me back? Oh fuck no, I'm not falling for that. I can't even kill a silly, insignificant deer. There's no way in hell I'd be able to murder all of my friends. Fuck off you annoying tick in my ear, no one cares about what you have to say.

I screamed. Loudly. I don't care how high-pitch is was, because it helped. If you can't sleep away your problems, sleep away your problems, or ignore them, the next thing to do is to scream them away.

Although this made me feel better, the deer and any other chance of food ran away. Other than a hurd of imps, that is, who came chasing me down. Of course they were disguised as all my friends, but they weren't them. And I was so numb anyway that I didn't care what they looked like.

"Just to be sure," I said, "speak now, or you're dead."

Obviously they stayed quiet and I took them out with a swish of my dagger. Unfortunately though, they all disintegrated so there's no grub there.

However, I did feel better, and decided to return back to everyone else.

"Where's our dinner, then?" Travis asked being the greedy, irritating pig he is.

My heart sank and I looked down embarrassed, "I couldn't kill it."

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What's up bbys lmao

...

Should I get with this boy just to get back at some bitch I hate? I'm seriously debating it.