-It Do Be Like that Sometimes- |Laurance x reader|

51- You deserve A Break

About a week has passed since Vylad died, and I wear his scarf everyday. I still blame myself for what happened. I wasn't strong enough and he had to pay the price. Two fucking times.

"It's not your fault." Laurance told me, as if he was reading my mind. It's about midday, and despite the fact that everyone isn't over what happened, we're all still trying to build the alliance. Laurance and I were both taking a break from training - since he can't build and I can't seem to do anything right.

"Of course it is," I answered, "If I was strong enough he wouldn't of had to jump in front of a literal murderer for me, twice."

"I know your beating yourself up about it, but no one blames you. Think of how Garroth feels, he was peacefully sleeping while it happened, he didn't even get the chance to help." he tried to lift my spirits, though it wasn't going too well.

"That's the point, Laurance. I got the chance. I had the opportunity to fight back and I couldn't. If only I wasn't scared of my fucking Shadow form it wouldn't of happened. This is the second time he's died just so I could live. I should've died 3 chances ago!"

"But you didn't! And I'm happy that you didn't, because if you died I really don't know how I'd live."

Wow, that's a new wave of heartless. "I don't want to talk about this anymore." I said, "Let's train some more."

"Y/n, you've been practicing all day every day for the past week. It's okay to take a break." he sighed, continuously trying to make me feel better, but he can't and he needs to know that. I won't feel better until I can master being in my Shadow Knight form.

"I said let's train some more." I replied sternly and bluntly, not showing much emotion at all.

He sighed again and looked down, "If you say so..."

Yeah, I do say so.

~

Hours go by and we're both visibly tired, but I'm not ready to stop.

Eventually, I go passed my limit and collapsed on top of Laurance as I try to strike, causing him to try and catch me but, from being too worn out himself, we fell on the ground in yet another strange position with both our faces dangerously close to each other. Despite breathing heavily and having sweat practically dripping from my forehead, the imbecile went to fucking kiss me.

I rolled next to him, still heavily panting from training. "I'm not ready yet."

"I don't understand," he replied, "Why don't you want anyone to know, am I embarrassing or something?"

I sighed, "Yeah exactly, you don't understand. Just imagine if Aphmau died like that. What would you do then, huh? I don't care what you try to say you still love her and you know it, I know it. Because those feelings don't just disappear like that, and that's a fact."

"So what you're saying is... You sill love Vylad?" he asked, extending his arm out as if to hold the sun.

"Loved," I answered, "past tense."

"I see," he replied, "but at some point you're going to have to face the truth; you can't use training to avoid your own feelings. Y/n, you're grieving."

"I know," I said, turning over and burrying my head in Laurances chest, letting him comfort me as he wraps an arm around my waist and then rests his other hand on my head. "I'm just not ready to mourn him yet."

Travis and Lucinda took up the job to look for imps this morning. Then, just when I finally decided to rest, they both come sprinting at us through the bushes, making Laurance and I think they were in trouble.

We both sat up quickly in order to help them fight whatever they were running from, but it turns out they were having a race and whoever wins gets to use the prize first. The prize, however, I had no clue what it was.

We followed them back to where everyone else was, and Lucinda ended up winning.

"No fair, you cheated with that witch mumbo-jumbo!" Travis complained like the sore loser he is.

"Nuh-uh, I won fair and square!" she shot back, folding her arms and leaning on her hip like a sassy queen. If you ask me, she's getting dangerously close to stealing my personality.

"What's going on?" Aphmau asked. To be frank, I don't even think they know what's going on.

"There's a hotspring up the mountain, and we're going to go there." She stated proudly, like a happy puppy mixed with a bit of fierce lion, it was actually a very odd tone.

"Ohhhh yeeeeaaaahhhh!" The wolf-girl, Leona, yelled excitedly, "That'll be so fun!"

"That actually doesn't sound half-bad," Katelyn admitted, "What about you y/n?"

"No thanks, I'm good." I answered bluntly. I'm sure it would be fun but I don't have the time for that sort of stuff anymore.

"Come on, y/n, you haven't been yourself for weeks." Garroth told me, causing me to frown. I have my reasons. How has he been so okay recently, anyway? His little brother literally died a week ago.

"Yeah, y/n, please." Laurance begged, "You deserve a break."

I sighed, knowing that I'd have to go one way or another. "Fine."

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Has anyone seen midnight gospel or Lucifer??

Honestly I'm ashamed I didnt watch midnight gospel last year when it came out. I need a s2 rn