Because You're Mine (COMPLETED)

Chapter 87: Mitch

Read the A/N at the end of the chapter. Thxs

I can't move. I can't speak. I can't do anything. I hear Scott get up and pick up the screaming baby and I feel horrible that I don't. But I can't do anything. When I do hold her she just screams and screams. She doesn't calm down until Scott grabs her, or literally anyone else, other than me.

I'm a bad mother. Why else wouldn't she want me to hold her? I can't face Scott because I feel like he hates me because I almost got her killed. I let Jeremy do what he wanted and Addalin almost died.

I let out a sob, releasing yet more tears on my already drenched pillow. I feel the bed dip behind me, and I know that Scott has finished with the baby. I feel him place a hand on my back. I scoot forward, not realizing I'm already on the edge of the bed, and fall to the floor.

I just lay there.

My head missed the nightstand so I'm fine. I curl into myself and cry. I hear Scott scramble and rush over to me, and I swat him away and shrink into myself even more. I don't want Scott to touch me. He shouldn't want to touch me. I almost killed his daughter.

I go from crying to angry. I'm angry at myself. I'm angry at Scott. I'm angry at Jeremy. I'm even angry at Addalin, because shes just too small to do anything for herself, not that that is something she can help.

I'm mostly angry at Scott because he just won't leave me alone, and I'm making it evident that want him to.

He touches my back and that does it for me. I turn around and glare at him. "Stop! For fucks sake! I'm giving you every possible sign that I can that I want you to leave me alone! Would you just pay attention?!" I snap, then I get up and storm out. No one is awake, which is perfect actually. I put on my shoes, and jacket and walk out the door.

It's the middle of the night, but I really need to clear my head. Why doesn't scott just leave me alone? Why am I like this? This is the first time I've left the house in over a week, and I had a breakdown the other day.

I don't know how long I walk before I smell Avi, running up on me. I stop and sigh. "What do you want?" I gripe.

"Uh, well for starters, it's 2:30 in the morning, it's 30° out here, and you just blew up on Scott and walked out of the house without telling anyone where your going. In the middle of the night, might I add."

I turn around and face him. "Well if Scott would get the hint and leave me alone, we wouldn't have this problem." I throw my arms up and let them fall and connect with my legs.

"What is going on Mitch? You never hold your child, you're snapping at everyone, and once you do you shut down, or storm out of the house at 2 in the morning!" He shakes his head. "Look. I don't know what happened when you were with him, but you cant bottle it up. You need to tell someone. I hear you screaming at night. We all do, and we all know its bad." He pauses. "Does Kit even know?" He asked me softly.

At this point, I'm doing everything to keep the tears in my eyes from falling onto my face. I shake my head. No one knows. No one needs to know, because then it will just cause an uproar and everyone will start worrying about me and I just cant have that: someone constantly watching over my shoulder. I look at him.

"You should at least try to talk to her. She was there with you, and she knows exactly how you feel. As much as I hate to say that, its true. Its not healthy, Mitch." He says.

"Neither is dying, but yet here I am!" I shout. "You don't understand. I let it happen. I didn't fight him off! I didn't scream, or cry. I didn't do anything! I didn't even make a sound, Avi. I..." My throat suddenly gets tight and I choke. "I let him hurt my baby." I whimper out as the tears fall.

I feel myself sinking to the ground when Avi wraps his arms around me. "Your baby is just fine, Mitch. She is strong and healthy and beautiful and smart." He whispered in my ear.

"But I let him. I did nothing to fight him off or get him off of me. It hurt, it hurt so bad, and knowing that Addalin was in danger...I-I jus-" I sob into his chest. I give up trying to speak because it hurts too much to talk about it, to remember it. "I feel like Scott hates me."

He draws his eyebrows in. "Why is that?"

"Because! I. Did. Nothing. I almost got his daughter killed when I was supposed to be protecting her!"

He sighs. "Mitch, you can't blame yourself-"

"But I do! It's my fault. I didn't do anything! I just let him have at me!" I sob.

"You were protecting your friend. What he did was wrong and vile and disgusting. He was weak and a coward. You were strong and brave. You did everything you could to protect Kirstie and Addalin."

"He held a knife to my stomach. He actually drew blood." I sniffle. I lift up my shirt to show him the small scar. "Scott doesn't know about that. Only you and Kirst." I look away. "Can we stop talking about it now? Please?" I say pathetically. Now that I wasn't moving I finally realized how cold I was. Avi looked at me and then took off his jacket and tried to put it on me.

"No. Keep it. Its yours. I'm fine." I lie. But I don't want to take his jacket from him.

"Mitch, as an alpha and a lead, I have a naturally higher body temperature. I can handle the ten minute walk home. Besides you're shaking like a leaf." He points out.

I know there's no point in arguing, so I let him put the jacket on me. He grabs my hand and gently pulls me until I'm walking along side him. I'm fine for a couple minutes and a wave of tired just washes over me and I almost fall over. I feel Avi quickly lift me up and carry me bridal style the rest of the way. He's humming something and I can hear it resonating in his chest, the low steady sounds had me asleep before we got back to the house.

Poor Mitchy. Well, at least that is getting sorted out.

I know some people were getting bored, and I'm sorry, but honestly, if you don't like it, don't read it. I'm not trying to be a bitch when I say that, but seriously. I'm trying.

I've had a lot going on recently so you just gotta bare with me. I know the story is kinda dragging and that its not the same as it was before the kidnapping, but that's how it goes. Something major happens in your life, it changes you.

And I know there isn't as much Kavi as some would like, and I'm working on that too. Every single one of these chapters, I write them off the top of my head half the time. I don't have any parts already written and I'm just posting them when i feel like it. I write it, edit it, and post it. Anything that happens outside of the big stuff, I don't have planned. When I say I surprised myself, I'm not just saying it.

Just bare with me guys, I'm sorry if the story is boring you or if its different than when it started.

Rant over.