Me, Myself, and Them. |TAEKOOK|

39

Jungkook's POV.

"Jungkook?"

I turn around to find Taehyung walking into the kitchen wearing a bathrobe, his eyes are bloodshot like he's been crying.

"What's wrong? Why are you awake?" He asks, crossing his arms.

I shake my head, turning back to the tea that Hajoon made me before he went upstairs. "I'm just not tired."

"Oh." He says, walking around the table and sitting in the chair to the left of me. "Is something wrong?"

"No." I say looking up at him. "Are you okay?"

He shrugs. "I'm okay. How'd things go tonight? I tried asking V but I couldn't find him."

"V fronted when it was time to go see your mom. I don't think things went well for him." I say looking down at my mug, the tea went cold hours ago. "Then Chaesal fronted on the rooftop."

"Chaesal?" He asks.

"Yeah. That's his name." I say, expecting him to follow what I'm saying.

"Did you talk to him?" He asks.

"Yeah." I sigh. "He's only seventeen. And he feels like an outcast in the system."

    "Seventeen?" He asks, sighing softly. "So he's a child?"

    "Yeah. He is." I say, looking up at him. "He thinks I should be more worried about you than him, though."

His expression changes and he tilts his head in confusion. "Me?"

    "Yeah. You." I say sitting back in my chair. "Is he right?"

    "What do you mean?" He asks, crossing his arms.

    "If there's something you need to tell me, you can tell me now." I say, leaving the discussion open for him to say what he needs to say.

"I'm not sure I'm following, Jungkook." He says sitting back in his seat as well. "What else did he say?"

    "He didn't say anything else. He showed me." I say, grabbing my mug and standing to put it in the dishwasher.

    "Showed you?" He asks. "Showed you what?"

    "Your wrists." I say, keeping my back to him as I force myself to say the words as my throat tightens with tears that I've been holding back for hours.

I didn't want to confront him about it at all but I'd never forgive myself if I said nothing and he ended up seriously hurting himself.

I turn to him after he falls silent. "I wish you'd talk to me, Taehyung. Because you can, about anything."

He sighs, keeping his eyes down. "There are things that you just won't understand, Jungkook."

    "That doesn't mean you can't talk to me." I say, my voice cracking from emotion. "You can just tell me how you feel instead of putting up this front like you're okay when you're obviously not."

    "It's not that simple, Jungkook."

    "Why do you pretend to be alright if you aren't?"

    "I don't pretend to be alright." He says looking up at me, his eyes glossed over with tears. "There are times that I feel fine and there are times where I feel not so fine. That doesn't mean I'm pretending."

    "Chaesal said that I only see what you want me to see. Is that true?" I ask, genuinely wanting to know if he purposely kept things from me.

    "You see whatever you want to see, Jungkook. When you're with me you get me, one hundred percent." He says. "Whether I'm happy or whether I'm feeling like shit. You get what you get."

    "Why don't you come to me whenever you're feeling like shit?" I ask. "Instead doing that?"

He sighs, looking down again. "I don't know, Jungkook."

    "Taehyung~"

    "Stop talking at me." He cuts in, looking up at me angrily. "I already said that you wouldn't understand so stop asking me all these questions like it'll make a difference. I'm sorry, okay? What else can I say?"

    "Tell me why you do it." I say. "Just try to explain~"

    "I don't have to explain myself to you." He says standing and walking out of the kitchen.

    "That's not fair, Taehyung." I say following after him. "You aren't the only one that has to deal with the consequences."

    "You're right." He says stopping abruptly and facing. "There's ten other different people in my head that have to deal with it too, and you know what, maybe that's why I do it. Maybe it feels good to have control over my own fucking body every now and then, maybe it makes me feel like a normal human being for a few short moments. Maybe that's why, Jungkook. But even then you wouldn't understand so leave it alone!"

He storms off, walking down the hall to one of the downstairs guest rooms and slamming the door shut behind him.

The guilt immediately sets in when I here him crying softly on the other side of the door.

I messed up. I think I messed up bad.

I didn't know how I was going to even start this conversation ten minutes ago and now I've already ruined everything.

I tried to be understanding and I tried to just let him know that I'm here for him, whenever he needs me I'll be here but my worry and concern got lost somewhere in translation.

I didn't want to upset him or to make him feel bad.

I was just so damn worried.

<><><>

POV.

Jungkook sits against the door of the guest room, listening in on Taehyung to make sure he was okay.

Taehyung sits against the other side of the door, listening to Jungkook's breathing to try and ground himself.

    "Taehyung?" Jungkook says after what felt like hours of silence.

    "Hm?" The older hums.

    "I'm sorry."  He says. "I didn't mean to make you upset. I just...I worry so much about you and I just want everything to be okay. I know you think I won't understand...I probably won't but...I still want you to know that I'll always be here for you."

Taehyung sighs softly, using his sleeve to wipe his tears. "I know, Jungkook. I know you worry about me. And I feel like I've let you down~"

    "You haven't." Jungkook reassures him immediately.

    "You truly do make me happier, Jungkook. You make us all happier." The brunette says through his tears. "But when I get really down, or upset, it's hard for me to remember how happy I am when I'm with you. All I can think about is what I feel in that moment and I've been trying to get better but it's just so hard."

Jungkook's heart aches for Taehyung. "You don't have to do it alone, Tae."

Taehyung sighs as more tears wet his cheeks, his head aching from crying so much. "I'm so tired, Jungkook.

    "I know. Me too." The younger says honestly.

    "Will you sleep with me tonight?" The brunette asks, his voice thick with emotion. "I don't want to be alone."

    "You don't have to be alone." Jungkook says. "I'll stay with you."

    "Will you stay with me?"

Jungkook doesn't think about his response, he doesn't even think about what Taehyung was asking before he's answering.

    "Always."

🔒🔒🔒