A Royal Ice Heart

50.

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| Bakugou POV |

The next morning when I woke up I felt much more relaxed than I had for a very long time. The piercing headache relaxed a bit, and for one I had some peace of mind. 

I blinked my eyes a few times before finally opening them. I slipped my hands out from under my pillow. It was a habit I had, and I don't think I was stopping for a very long time. I pulled my hand out from under my pillow, hitting a small box that happened to be underneath. I was confused at what it was until I pulled it out. I pulled the small black box out, a small smile appearing on my face.

"When did I buy this..." I asked myself but quickly shoved it under my pillow.

I woke up, got dressed, and headed for the Royal court.

I was greeted with the problems and situations we were facing. Petty thieves that had to be punished. rebels at the border, and other matters. Then I had to go around the city. Greeting everyone with a smile. When I came back I had a load of paperwork waiting. 

I'd carry as much as I could, and walk over to Izuku's room. I'd spend hours there. Doing the paperwork and talking to Izuku. Well, at least I thought I was. I'd sometimes complain about how needless the documents were, or how the old geezers tried bossing me around. Sometimes, even I thought I was acting childish. Yet, even then I'd still laugh at my own jokes, and lament at his silence. But never once did I feel like I was forcing myself. Like I had to put on a smile for him like I was forcing out my words. They were all so natural, and soon I came to accept that even in these castle walls, with him anywhere felt like home.

Sometimes I'd even doze off and spend the night sleeping at his bedside. And every morning I  was either filled with glee to wake up to his face, or I reminded of all the horrors looking at his lifeless features. 

And with that, I'd go back to get dressed. I'd go back to court. I'd solve everyone's problems. I'd smile for the people. And soon I was used to my schedule. Like clockwork, everything was perfectly synced. And like every day, the only place I could get some release was with Izuku. 

I had been doing the exact same thing for days, for months. The same thing for the past two years. 

•|•

I sighed as I signed the last paper of the stack. A small cloud of cold air forming in front of me. 

"It's getting cold..." I sighed. It usually snows a lot here. Even spring stays cold for a while. The snow would pile up in the double-digits. It didn't affect me greatly, but it was always a struggle trying to get around town in all that snow. However, this year snow still hadn't fallen. It was just blistering cold, and howling winds. 

"I should've probably worn a thicker layer," I regretted not wearing a cape. 

"Oh right, I should get Izuku warmer clothes as well," I diverted my attention towards Izuku.

He probably hasn't moved at all for the past two years. Once he actually moved a finger and when I say I freaked out I am not lying. I'm pretty sure even people who have never even seen him, knew about it. It was the happiest day of my life in these years. 

"I really wish we could cuddle right now! I mean it's winter I should be keeping you warm in my arms," I complained at a stagnant Izuku.

My words once again disappearing into nothingness. A very familiar feeling formed in my mind. The same feeling I'd get once in a while when I spoke to Izuku. The butterflies in my stomach, the weird feeling in my throat. A sudden spur of lonesome. Even after two years, I bet even after a hundred, I could never get used to this. 

I didn't know what kind of expression I was making, but I stood up and headed for my room to get Izuku something warm to wear. His clothes were fine for summer, but he didn't have heavy winter clothes, so I'd give him mine. I could buy him more, but he just looked really cute in mine.

"I'll be back in a sec!" I called out before leaving the room. Called out to whom...even I didn't know, but it was a habit. And I promised never to forget.

•|•

I looked through my closet for something small that could fit him. Which wasn't really easy, considering everything was custom made for me. 

I sighed, "Maybe I should buy him clothes."

"For Christmas, it's still November, but why not. We could go shopping together, even decorate a huge tree in the ballroom," I chuckled to myself at the thought.

Again...that feeling.

I felt myself clutch onto the piece of fabric I was going through. It was the only thing I could grab onto, and I held it tight. The same feeling of nostalgia, the same feeling of self dread. It suffocated me, and I couldn't breathe. I felt cold. I needed warmth, someone to hold onto. The same feeling, that I kept trying to ignore. However, I don't think my ignorance was going to last much longer.

Clank!

I looked behind at the loud sound. 

"Damn bird," I cursed to myself, well at the bird. It was a raven. Dark and majestic, holding it's neck high and proud. Pitch black beady eyes staring right at me as if it could tell everything. It happened to get in somehow, knocking over the breakfast tray that was left in here today morning. I picked the tray up, putting it back. 

I swatted my hand at the bird, trying to shoo it away. It didn't go away at first.

"What?" I asked the bird, "Don't you have somewhere to be, like, I don't know, bird friends or something."

It didn't budge.

"...or do you have nowhere to go..." I found himself whispering.

It took me a short moment of realization to understand what I had just said.

"What the hell!?" I quickly spoke out loud.

"Why am I sympathizing with a bird, go away, shoo, shoo!" I now violently swatted at the bird.

The bird finally left, probably frightened. I sighed to myself before finally going back to looking for clothes. I kept denying one after the other, and through my escapade, through the closet, I found a very soft piece of white wool. 

I didn't remember having anything of the sort, so I pulled it out. 

It's still here, huh. I thought to myself as I eyed the white turtle neck shirt. I felt a pang go through my heart once again. I felt myself tightly clutch onto the fleecy cloth, as I rumpled a small portion of it. 

Seriously, how much longer do you want me to wait?

I decided that I'd just bring that to Izuku. With that, I walked over back to the room. 

"Alright, upsie-daisy," I grabbed Izuku by the waist, pushing him up straight. Leaning him against the headboard as I made him sit straight. 

I made sure to set him up as gently as possible. I remembered how hard it was when his wound still hadn't healed. Compared to that, this was nothing. As I pushed him back, I felt his hands fall, grazing mine.

They were so cold. I felt myself bring my hand down to his. My fingers playing around in his hands, before I grabbed onto them. I found myself interlocking my fingers into his. My warmth slowly melting the cold. 

I tightly grabbed into his hand. His still fingers gently fell onto my hand. Each touch prickling my senses. 

I grabbed on tighter. As if I no longer just wanted to warm it, I simply didn't want to let go. 

I grabbed onto it tighter. 

And he held on.

•|•

The best thing to hold onto in life is each other.

- Audrey Hepburn

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End of Fall

Beginning of Winter.