sᴛʀᴀᴡʙᴇʀʀʏ ᴊᴀᴍ ↝ sᴏᴘᴇ ✔︎

ⅈᠻ 𝕥ꫝꫀ ડꫝꪮꫀ ᠻⅈ𝕥ડ 𝟝:𝟟

"Rail me daddy," Hoseok flirted shamelessly, biting his lip as he lazily wrapped two arms around Yoongi's neck and began swaying them side to side.

Luckily, Yoongi chose to stay sober in case this bitch did some dumb shit.

Fortunately the only downside to a drunk Hoseok was him being one horny little shit.

"Bitch do I look like a train track to you?!" Yoongi scoffed offensively, prying his maybe-fiancé's arms off of him before leading them to the bathroom to clean up the punch stains Hoseok clumsily spilled on his dress.

Dumb bitch.

"Uh I dunnooooo but I wanna ride youuuuuu," Hoseok slurred giddily, eyes not even fully open to properly see where he was going thus why Yoongi was forced to guide the man by his bare shoulders.

He had some nice shoulders, but Yoongi chose to ignore that in case if it came off as another random ass kink.

"Good god," Yoongi sighed, already regretting with carrying out their marriage plan but even when Hoseok was drunk, he felt a pull towards them. Plus, he seemed like the best contestant so far so this was the best it was going to get.

Also because this is a fairytale so they instantly fall in love at first sight obvi🙄🙄🙄.

"Gud gawd? Wassat — hey yoongeeeee can you suckyyyyy."

"No."

"Pleaseeeee I I have to pee can you suck."

"What? You want me to suck your pee? Is this like a pee kink or something?" Yoongi practically screeched, finally reaching one of the private bathrooms before shutting and locking the door behind them.

"Yeth."

"No, go suck your own pee," Yoongi replied sassily, scrunching up his face from how all too confused he was in the moment to even properly process what was going on and how he even wounded up in this situation.

Fate I guess #soulmatetingz🤪🤪✨

No I'm not going to describe the power of soulmates in a descriptive and heartfelt 200 word paragraph because I'm too fucking lazy and this short story gives me a good excuse to slack off #suckmydick uwu.

"But-but."

"No buts, now sit your ass on the sink counter so I can scrub this period blood stain off your dress," Yoongi instructed strictly, with Hoseok quickly following by trying to navigate his way around the bathroom at his best ability.

It wasn't working.

Not to mention it was only twenty minutes away from midnight.

This bitch be screwed.

Realizing that he'd need a little help, Yoongi reluctantly places both hands at the boy's waist before hoisting him up onto the sink and grabbing a bunch of paper towels from the dispenser before unmercifully jabbing it against the dress — too frustrated to care for being gentle or handling it with care.

Thankfully Hoseok was too drunk out of his mind to care, so neither one were complaining.

Namjoon Rn: 👁💧👄💧👁

"Okay daddy."

"Don't call me that."

"Why? You're blushingggg," Hoseok teased, but he was right. Yoongi was blushing. And a lot at that.