Live Through This/ Liam Gallagher

CHAPTER THIRTY SIX

It was about 3:30 in the morning when I got the first phone call, one from the one and only Courtney Love. I didn't know that, so I grumbled, pulling out of Liam's grasp in my hotel room's bedroom and pulled the phone off the receiver.

"Who is this?" I ask sleepily, "You're ringing off the hook...It's so early."

"You're pregnant? And didn't FUCKING TELL ME? Your best friend?" She yells, which causes me to recognize the voice as Courtney's.

Rubbing my eyes, trying to wake myself up, I sigh, continuing to listen to her talk. "No, I'm not. What the fuck are you talking about?"

"It's all over the news, you and Liam hun, kissing behind a baby store, leaving with a shit ton of bags. You don't need to lie if you're giving it up for adoption. I won't tell anyone." Courtney says calmly.

"Courtney. I'm not pregnant, Jesus Christ."

Liam spins around, sitting up, starting to hear the conversation. "Why the hell does she think you're pregnant?" He groans, slamming his head down into a pillow.

"Turn the TV on." I whisper, before turning back to the phone "Courtney, Liam's having a kid with another woman. IM NOT the pregnant one. We were just getting gifts. But yes, Liam and I are seeing one another again. Or were." I glance at him nervously, knowing our privacy had just been outed.

She sighs "God damn it! I thought Frances might have a play date soon or some shit. That's why I called."

"This still couldn't have waited till, I don't know, an appropriate time for me?" I ask, laying back down in bed, frustrated, knowing there was a ton of damage control that was going to have to be done because of this whole mess. Really.

"I'll talk to you later. I guess you're busy now." She giggles before hanging up.

What was funny about any of this? Seriously? I mean nothing about it was remotely funny to me. And now, looking at the television and seeing people speculating about whether I was having a kid, made me actually want to throw up.

Practically tossing the phone towards Liam, I jump out of bed and head to the bathroom, before I do so, I yell "MANAGER NOW."

Just wanting him to get in touch with his people about everything before getting to Steve and everyone. I dash into the bathroom, standing in front of the toilet, messily pushing my hair back before throwing up, and then again, a few seconds later.

I was a nervous wreck at the moment.

When it had finally all finished, I shakily stood up, cleaning up in the mirror, before heading back to see Liam arguing on the phone.

Only it didn't seem like it was his manager or anyone like that. He'd chosen to call Patsy.

"I swear to fucking god, it was an accident." He says in a hushed voice.

"What do you mean who?" He adds, I decide to hide behind the bathroom door, listening to his conversation with Patsy, or who I assumed it was.

"Patsy, you know me, neither of them could ever love me like you do. I'm dependent on you. I swear."

There's silence.

"What do you mean Avery? Patsy, she's a placebo for when things are messed up with us! Plus we're just friends if anything. I can't help it if she's into me."

Ouch.

It wasn't just a sting. I couldn't describe how I felt hearing what he was saying. I knew it wasn't true, he was just lying, trying to get out of trouble with Patsy. But why? If they got divorced it meant we'd be free to be with one another.

Why was he trying so hard to keep her? Did he actually want to keep her around? Was he attached to her? It didn't make sense. He hadn't spent any time with her in the past couple of weeks, hell, maybe months it seemed.

Why did he need her still?

Was I not enough?

"Patsy, god damn! You should fucking know it means nothing. Absolutely nothing. I don't come home because of shit like this! It's easier to sit and pretend with her than be in reality with you." He yells, before slamming the phone down.

My head peeks out the door, and our eyes lock. "Is that what you feel?" I ask.

"Leave it alone Birdie." He says calmly, now looking down at the bed.

"Sure. Cause we're just friends." I say sarcastically, heading out the bedroom door, entering the main part of the hotel room.

He follows after quickly and says "You know I don't mean that. You've got to know that, come on Avery. After all I do for you."

"All you do is hide me. Even when you have the opportunity to NOT." I yell, turning around, waving my arms around.

He frantically runs forward, forcing us into a kiss, one that I was not happy to have or participate in. Moving my head away, I reject it the second time before shoving him off of me.

"You CANNOT fix your idiocy with kisses!" I scream, tired of this already.

He ignores this and yells "You want everything NOW, you can never wait? There's not an ounce of patience in you is there?"

I scowl at me "You can't tell me that you love me and then still want to be with another woman."

"Why not?" He asks "Huh? Cause you seem to fall for it every single time Avery."

"They're right." I say, glaring at you.

"Who is?"

"Everyone. You are worse than your cunt of a brother." I sneer.

"Take that back." He huffs

I don't say anything and then look down the hall towards the exit to the room. "Get out." I say swiftly.

"Excuse me?" He asks, scoffing.

"Get OUT." I repeat myself, getting louder and angrier.

"Do you really want that Birdie? Because we both know you need me. We keep each other sane." He inches closer and continues to speak "I keep you off those special little white lines and you make me feel great." He chuckles.

Still, not done.

"You drive me crazy, the way you move, how your lips curl when you talk. The sleekness of your hair, your voice. Avery, it's intoxicating and I know you feel the same way about me..I can see it in you."

I don't answer, trying to think of how to respond.

"You're not wrong, I-I do love you. A part of me does at least. But, people who are in love, equally and fully, don't tell other people that they're just friends, or hide them."

He doesn't answer.

I didn't blame him for any of the fight that had just happened. But he still needed Patsy, and I could wait for that to run its course. We had forever.

"Take your time with Patsy, and if you do finally, break it off. I'll be waiting. I promise. I'll wait for you."

It was all I had to say, just another promise to get me through the pain that was going to come to me within the next few days.

"Okay. Thank you." He says. I can tell he's trying to keep himself together.

"One more night." Liam says softly. "I just, want to hold you for one more time before."

The inevitable.

I nod my head, knowing I needed it too and let him lead us back to the bedroom, his gentle kisses being planted down my neck, trying his best to comfort me.