(2) Overnight Sensation: An All Time Low Fanfiction Romance

Chapter 40: Matters

        Alex left and I barely said a word, still wrapped up in everything that was on my mind. I couldn't seem to get over the fact that he could be running with fans when he's on tour, kissing them, flirting with them. I know it's part of the job, and I know how terrible it sounds that I feel this way, but now I'm stuck, because I don't want to be jealous. I know when he's at shows he smiles and jokes because that's what you do. I guess I just don't want to be the one waiting while he's pulling a fast one behind my back.

        Now, it's Friday night and the guys' show would be starting soon. I decided to skip it for the reason that I didn't want to argue with Alex before he had to go on. I didn't want to make him stressed out about something that I was having a hard time with because honestly, it was my problem. I was the one with the issues that I couldn't seem to figure out.

        I already chose to get homework done. As terrible as it sounds, sometimes I enjoy having homework. It takes my mind off of everything that I've been trying to hide from. When I was without any, it was because I didn't have to take finals and it was the end of my senior year. I couldn't get lost in the simple homework I was handed at this point.

        I rolled over on my back, staring at my ceiling intently. I watched te fan spin around and around, trying to count how many times it went around. I was interrupted when my door opened and closed. I assumed it was my dad, not looking up to check. Once I was being lifted off of my bed and over someone's shoulder, I was sure it wasn't him. I smelled the t-shirt of the person, without having to know it was Alex.

        "Alex, put me down," I stated, annoyed. Why was he even here? He had a show in less than an hour. By now he was at the House of Blues setting up, almost ready to play. Apparently he was just here to bug me.

        He didn't argue as he put me down, knowing I meant business. As he sat next to me, I ran my fingers through my hair to fix it. I was lazing around in a pair of black yogas that scrunched at the bottom and were bushed up around my calves and a maroon t-shirt. His eyes were hardened, almost angry.

        "Why are you ignoring me?" He questioned with a tense voice.

        "I'm not," I lied terribly. I wasn't trying to ignore him; I was just tuning him out. I didn't care to hear what he was saying because I was too caught up in everything else. I was too caught up in the future.

        "Bullshit, Stella," he spat, furiously. "I know you, and I know you're mad aout something. What the hell is it? Is it because of dinner Tuesday? Is that the reason you stopped talking to me?"

        "So, what if it is? You have no reason to be yelling at me!"

        "Of course I do! You've been a bitch to me all week, and I can't think of a single thing I did," he growled at me, and we were at each other's throats. We were in each other's faces, trying to get the other to back down. Neither of us would, we never have. We were too stubborn.

        "Why does it matter? It's not like you really care," I hissed at him, eyes boring into his. He gave me a loud, fake laugh and rolled his eyes.       

        "Don't ever tell me what I care about," he demanded, pointing his finger at me like a child. I pushed him away, causing both of us to stumble. He gawked at me while I crossed my arms over my chest.

        "Why are you even here, Alex?" I muttered with a hoarse voice. I didn't want to get emotional, but all the feelings I've kept bottled up inside were killing me slowly. They were eating away at my insides, and needed to be let out. I was trying so hard not to cry in front of Alex.

        "I've already told you. I want to know why you're mad," he spoke through his teeth. We were both ready to explode.

        "You have a show, Alex. Just leave so you can be with your band and little fan girls," I wiped under my eyes, losing the battle against myself to keep Alex from seeing how frustrated I was. As soon as I let that slip, he knew.

        "It is because of dinner with your dad! You've been pissed at me all week because I didn't answer your stupid question?" his voice was still loud, still livid. I ran my hands over my face, sitting on my bed quietly.

        "It's not stupid, Alex. The answer gives me insight into how this summer is going to go."

        "Oh, really, well, how is this summer going to go, Stella?" he fumed, hands curling up into fists. I wanted to hit him, and I really wanted to kiss him. I wanted to slap him, and I wanted to make him forget what I was saying. I hated this.

        "I already know. Once your feet hit that tour bus, I'm just another girl," I felt the tears hit my eyes, and my voice faltered, "I'm nothing, and I just -- Alex -- I don't want to do this if that's what it's going to mean. I understand if it changes over the course of touring. I get that people change, but I don't want to do this if it means nothing now."

        "Doesn't matter? What the fuck was I doing here Tuesday if it didn't matter, Stella? I've never done anything like that before, and if I wasn't there because you matter to me, then what was I doing?" he was trying to keep calm, but the veins in his neck popped out. His face was red, and he was so angry. I've never seen someone so upset with me before, and for some reason I thought he hated me. "Tell me what I was doing, then!"

        "I don't know, Alex. I really have no idea," I shouted over his voice, standing up. "All I know is that you suck at telling me what you're thinking, and it scares me. We've been together for a few weeks, but you know this goes back to when I first got here!"

        "I suck at saying how I feel?" Alex smiled at the ridiculous idea, laughing once. "You tell me nothing."

        "Don't blame me for anything. This is about this summer!"

        "It's about everyhing, Stella! Why don't you tell me what you want?" He was pointing at me. We were accusing each other. We were walking towards one another, trying to get in each other's faces.

        "I don't want to wait around here for you to call me. I don't want to wonder if you're texting me while you're kissing another girl. I don't want you to be with other girls and.." I was so into what I was saying, I nearly missed it when he put his mouth to mine, making me shut up completely.

        His mouth was quick and swift against mine, which nearly made me fall over. I couldn't help but forget everything I was saying when he kissed me like this. It felt like all our problems melted away at each other's touch. It made every problem disappear, like I would never have to worry about Alex ever leaving me because he was making his mouth move this way.

        He broke away from me, a smile on his mouth, the same as mine. We were worn out, finished fighting with those last parting words not said. He pushed his mouth against mine again, pulling my body to his. I reached around his neck, making our faces so close when he pulled away that you couldn't put anything between us.

        "Please don't make me wait for a phone call," I whispered, eyes closing, anticipating the answer. He chuckled lowly, and kissed my lips, "I just -- I don't know -- I won't be able to handle that."

        "I promise, I won't," he muttered against my mouth, which made me smile. And right then, Alex hugging me, was all I needed.