(2) Overnight Sensation: An All Time Low Fanfiction Romance

Chapter 57: Need You

        "You just let him hang up like that?" Kara hissed at me through the computer screen.

        It was our daily chat, and it was 12:45 in the morning. She'd been texting me all day, asking what happened with Alex. Obviously she would know something happened before I told her. She was basically living with Alex, and if something was wrong wtih him, she would be one of the first seven or so to notice.

        "Well, what the hell was I supposed to do, Kara?" I sighed at her, running my fingers through my hair. She had her headphones plugged into the computer so my voice wasn't coming through the speakers. She was still hiding in the louge, careful not to wake the guys. I'm sure she was next to Rian on most nights, so she wouldn't keep him up either. "We both knew it was coming eventually. It just came sooner than planned."

        "You guys have never fought like that before. It's completely random," she seemed more frustrated than I was. She huffed to herself silently, sulking.

        "That phone call was the fifth one he's made since you left. That was three weeks ago," I hated thinking about it. That was less than two a week. "It was like he was trying to break his promise by making me wait around by the phone. It just got worse when he heard Adam on the phone an.."

        Kara cut me off, "You never did tell me what happened with him, by the way."

        I rolled my eyes, picking at the hem of my shirt, "Nothing even happened. I ran into him at the beach, he was a jerk. Then I ran into him at a party a few nights later when I was on the phone with Alex," I glanced up at Kara and she nodded, scratching under her jaw. "I don't even get why Alex was so pissed anyway. He just go really annoyed with me -- I don't get why he acted that way. I didn't do anything!"

        "He was obviously jealous, Stell. He wouldn't act that way if he wasn't."

        "Okay, yeah, whatever," I rolled my eyes at the idea. "Even if he was jealous, there is no reason for him to be that way. I told Adam to go away and it ended. He acts as if I slept with him."

        Suddenly, I winced at my own words; slept with him. All I coudl think about was Alex, and the last night he was here. My stomach ached, and my heart was throbbing with pain.

        I couldn't believe I gave myself to Alex, and how quickly it all ended. Alex was my first, my first for the only thing in the entire world I'll never get back. I couldn't take back my virginity. I couldn't redo something like that; there was no way to take back time.

        I would just be another girl he's spending a night with. When he talks about realtionships in his interviews, I'm just one of the many girls that had been in his bed. He would let me fade out of his mind, and forget how he took that from me. He stole that from many girls, and I'm nothing special.

        And as sick as it was, I couldn't even bring myself to regret it.

        "Yu used to date Adam, of course he's going to react. You are -- was his girlfriend; he didn't know how to handle that feeling. He's never dealt with it before."

        "Girlfriend? Since when?" I scoffed. Kara rolled her eyes and let out a breath. She pushed her fingers through her hair.

        "Of course you two were dating," she seemed so sure. "It's been so long since I've ever seen Alex consider that with someone."

        "Then why didn't he care when I said all that stuff? Why did he just end it?"

        "He was pissed all day, Stella. I don't know why you insist on acting like he doesn't care. He didn't talk to anyone, and disappeared for the entire day until they had a show. Once that was done, he was MIA again."

        "Alex Gaskarth doesn't care when he breaks up with girls. He never does, and this -- it shouldn't even matter. I can't matter, it doesn't. We dated for three months, not three years," I grumbled while letting out my breath. Kara eyed me, eyebrows rising.

        "If it doesn't matter then why are you still wearing that necklace?" My fingers instinctively touched my neck, feeling the cool silver with care. My hand wrapped around the metal, holding it to my chest. "And that bandana," I fiddled with the purple bandana on my wrist. I hadn't even thought about it when I put it on this morning. It was so easy, like it was part of my every day routine, just like breathing.

        I couldn't help it when my mind connected breathing with Alex.

        "I don't -- I don't know," I pinched the bridge of my nose with my thumb and index finger. "Even if we date for three months and fooled around for four, I just don't know what to do."

        "What do you mean?"

        "It's only been a few months, but I don't know what to do," I felt the tears hit the corners of my eyes, "it's like -- I feel like I can't breathe, and I haven't since you guys left."        

        Kara gave me a sympathetic smile. "I felt like that when they left to do shows over school vacations. They did almost every year, and I'd spend a week alone," she glanced down and back at me. "I missed Rian, a lot."

        "I don't understand how you can put up with this. It's torture."

        "Well, the longest I was away from them was three weeks, last summer," she nodded, not enjoying the memories. "They went on a small tour, and it was terrible," she chuckled lightly.

        "What did you and Rian do?" I was eager, I waned to know what it felt like to love someone who saw you the same way. I wanted to know that love wasn't one sided, that two people were capable of feeling the same things, and really meaning it.

        "It was difficult, they were gone a lot that summer," she nodded, "but I needed Rian, and even when he wasn't here, I needed to know everything was okay. He's like my rock."

        My heart ached again, watching the smile grow on her mouth.

        "Sounds nice."

        She looked up at my sour expression, noticing the distaste in my voice. She knew why, she knew it was because of Alex. She smiled, shaking her head. "Don't be so quick to assume, Stella. Rian and I are much less stubborn than you and Alex. You'll both realize you need each other, but won't say it. You'll both know, and you'll find your way back."

        "Really? Because it feels like I'm falling in love alone," I snorted at the idea, eyes watery. She smirked, shaking her head slightly and letting out a low breath.

        "He doesn't want to need you, but he does. He'll figure it out and try to play it off like it doesn't matter. He can't hide from it forever. He'll come back to you because he needs you too."

        "Yeah, whatever," I let out my breath again, leaning my chin in my hand, defeated.