tryst [sequel] // h.s

35

Chapter thirty five

Harry

''Have you talked to Zara?'' ''Where's Zara?'' ''Who's Zara?'' ''Is she not coming? That's a shame, lovely girl.'' ''She is so beautiful.'' ''And that woman is your girlfriend, how?''

Zara, Zara, Zara.

It's all I've heard since I came home last night as if no one really cared about me but the truth is my mum sort of made a big deal of this dinner, implying that my girlfriend would be here, but no.

Here I am, no girlfriend, a shit ton of gifts I'll probably have to throw away, give to my mum or sister. Even if I don't think it's appropriate to get your mother a pair of high-end, fancy lingerie.

That's an image I don't want in my head.

I don't even know why I brought her gifts along with me, I guess in my head I still stood a chance and Zara would be here waiting for me along with my family but she's not.

I'm pathetic for thinking she'd be here waiting for me when I should be the one waiting for her.

We haven't talked since yesterday before my flight, she sent me a text right before I boarded the plane and I replied when I landed but she left me on read so I haven't pushed for conversation either.

I don't know what I was expecting, warm welcome, kiss under the mistletoe, and a happy ending?

I've been trying to get my mind off of her and everything that revolves around her, hence why I left for New York for a week to meet my friends but I'm starting to think it wasn't such a great idea.

Zara sounded mad at me, angered at my attitude but I think more than anything she was hurt and disappointed, which seems to be her latest appreciation towards me.

I don't know what to do, I'm clueless as to how I should act with her from now on and I don't want to smother her. She clearly has changed and she won't make it easy for me to earn her forgiveness, which I don't blame her for.

My main intention was to give her space, as she requested but I may have gone a bit extreme with the actual space between us.

I don't recognize us, this isn't like something we would do in normal conditions and right now matters between us are the weirdest they have ever been. On a usual week when we don't get to see each other, we would facetime every night, text through the day, and send each other pictures.

I can't believe how I let all of this go to shit in a few seconds, it's surreal because I had been busting my ass off for months to make things right and this is what I get for one stupid lie.

One stupid lie that ruined all of the efforts I had been doing, it seems unfair but I'd be fooling myself if I said I don't deserve it.

She deserves to be mad at me all she wants because I betrayed her trust and I know how much she trusts me. I know how much it takes for her to trust people and allow herself to catch feelings so for me to do this is unacceptable.

I'll take all of the blame if I have to but I want her to be happy, safe, and healthy; for her to be finally fine.

''Earth to baby brother.'' Gemma is the one to nudge my arm and I sigh before offering her a small smile even if it doesn't reach anywhere else in my body.

''Sorry.''

''Come on, what is it?'' She motions for me to give it to her and I laugh at her expression but release a big breath once more.

''I miss my girlfriend.''

''Yeah, me too.'' She agrees while slumping back on the chair, her arms folding on her chest and looking bored.