tryst [sequel] // h.s

65

Chapter sixty five

Harry

These past few days have been an absolute challenge.

None of us was ready to face what was coming to us and it definitely shook off of our place, bringing this new reality to us.

The new reality being Zara and I practically have not talked to each other in three days.

It's not that we don't want to but mainly because we don't know what to say. I don't want to ruin anything with my big mouth and she hasn't felt the need to talk which I completely understand.

It's been tough for both of us, she hides to cry at night and I pretend I don't hear her to allow her some privacy but then I end up giving up to comfort her and hug her until she falls asleep again.

Thankfully she went back to therapy, yesterday was her first session and she said that she feels relieved but that they need to work on a lot since she had skipped so many sessions.

Her therapist actually advised that we do couple's therapy, since this is something we both have to dwell on but it doesn't necessarily have to be that we both go to therapy and talk with someone else, it's more of an exercise so we both know what the other one is feeling but in order to do that, first we have to talk.

I am more than willing to do anything that helps her out of the spiral she seems to be in, and I told her that anything she wants me to do is up to no question.

It simply breaks my heart how she seems to be silently suffering on her own, even when I offer my comfort, she doesn't seem to feel as confident as she once did.

Zara is handling this with so much more maturity than I ever thought because if I hadn't known any better I would have guessed this would be the final straw, but thankfully it's not.

She is utterly heartbroken and sad, you can see it in her tired blue eyes, how they show the defeat she feels from inside but this could be much worse, and we all know it.

Me, on the other hand, I try to be strong for her but knowing how much she's been through and how lonely she has felt in the past, simply breaks my heart because most of it is my fault.

I feel like I did this to her, and in some twisted way, I did.

Not to go through the specifics but becauseI left her alone, and that's something that shouldn't even be questioned. If she needs me, I have to be there for her and I had to learn this the hard way.

We are so close to getting what we've been waiting for so long, and what has been causing us trouble since we started dating, almost two years ago, we finally get to be free.

I haven't told Zara yet, and I'm waiting for the perfect moment to arrive, which may never come, at least not soon. I know she's not fragile, and that she is stronger than she's ever been before but I know this will affect her as much as it has affected me.

Zara is probably the only other person that has been through thick and thin with us and the only one that remains since we started, back in the show. She even self declared as One Direction's first official fan back in 2010 so this is hers as much as it is ours.

This will bring her sadness that she doesn't need at the moment, it's ultimately for the greater good and in the end we both get some advantage out of it but it will destroy her a little bit, so I'm carefully planning what will be my approach.

There's no need to sugarcoat it and I will tell her the truth, that the contract is ending and that it's very unlikely that we will get back under the One Direction name. She understands the technicalities and the legals about it so it shouldn't be too difficult but it will be hard.