tryst [sequel] // h.s

68

[i'm sorry for the long wait but this is a long one so get comfortable <3]

Chapter sixty eight

Harry

I'm not going to lie, I am about to pass out from the nervousness I'm dealing with right now.

I knew where this night was leading to but, I noticed very early on but I don't know how to handle it. It's been like 5 months since Zara and I have had sex, and I am so frightened that I will ruin anything that I can't even talk.

I am a gentleman, I take care of my girl, and I always try to be respectful and loving, the man that she deserves.

But when it comes to sex, I say nasty shit and I'm not going to lie, dirty talking is one of my fortes but this doesn't feel like the proper moment to do it.

It has to be special, and slow, careful.

Sex between Zara and I has shifted as the years went by, which is not bad but we were in a different place than we are now and I have no idea what to do, which sounds pathetic. In simpler terms, it means I don't know how to satisfy my girlfriend.

I don't know how much is too much, and how much is not enough and I am going insane driven by this thought. She wants me, she has made that very clear to me, so I can know her intentions and I get it, I'm not dumb or blind.

I want her, badly, but I have to be mindful of her and what she's been through. Here's me wanting to read her mind for the millionth time in my life but I am panicking and I don't want to sound like a loser.

Besides, I know Zara and if that woman does something right, then overthinking is her specialty.

Me, being the insensitive asshole I've been trying to put down, I'm most likely to say something bad or something for her to result in the thought of me not wanting to have sex with her, which I do but this isn't even about sex on its own.

It's the act of enjoying intimacy together once more, after the traumatic events we've been through. It's about learning how to touch each other's body and it feels like this is the first time we have sex, ever.

Hence why I wanted it to be special, unlike our actual first time that she took me by complete surprise and it happened at the hotel room we had during the tour but the aftermath was disastrous because she was the most insecure she's been in her life.

Now things are different, and Zara is more confident. We know each other and what we like, what we are allowed to do, and what is off-limits, but right now that is useless.

I feel like a virgin, not knowing where to place my hands and afraid of what I'll do and if it's enough or too much. She is unknowingly guiding me with her moments and her hands but what if I say the wrong thing?

''I want you, Harry.'' Her voice pulls me out of my thoughts and I realize perhaps I am the one overthinking this time, not the other way around.

Now I look at us, she's sprawled on the floor, her short hair is resting against it and I move my hand to it. It's cold, what was I even thinking?

I capture her lips back with mine, moving my hand next to her head as I'm fully hovering her body, pressed between her legs and she moans at the pressure on her core.