tryst [sequel] // h.s

25

Chapter twenty five

Harry

I'm woken up by a cold, empty feeling and some light footsteps hitting on the floor, leading to the side of the room.

I pat the bed next to me and Zara is not there so I try to open my eyes but I'm rewarded with darkness and nothing to see and I have a slow wave of sleepiness coursing over me so I close my eyes back, wanting to call her name but my body feels way too tired.

My eyelids feel heavy and I lose track of time when the next thing I hear is a zipper slowly being opened before the footsteps come back.

I stretch my arm to get my phone on the bedside table next to me and after some fumbling, I press on the home screen and it lights up indicating the time. It's almost six am, and I get a heavy sour sensation on my stomach.

The first thing my mind recollects it's probably the worst that could be at this moment.

When Zara left me she sneaked out of bed around this hour because she was hoping I wouldn't notice, to make things easier for her and not to face me but I caught her before she could run away.

What if she's doing the same this time?

I start thinking about every single second of yesterday and I can't think of anything that went wrong, it was perfect, we were good and I made sure everything worked out perfectly in the end.

Last night must have been a good day but I spent it stressing myself out and controlling every little detail and avoiding things that could have gone wrong.

What did I do wrong this time?

My chest feels tight and the air is kicked out of my lungs before I can do anything else. I feel my heartbeats ringing loudly in my ears and I'm having trouble breathing properly. My throat itches so bad I feel like it's tightening, closing my airway, and making me feel dizzy.

I struggle to open the first drawer and I get my inhaler quickly, putting it in my mouth and taking a few pumps until I can calm myself down and regularize my breathing. I breathe in short and ragged pants, trying to remain calm but my chest still hurts.

The angsty feeling doesn't seem to be ceasing any time soon so I remain laid back, breathing in slowly, keeping it on my chest for a while before letting it all out at once but in a contained exhalation so maybe I can calm down the pace of my heart.

The first couple of times this happened before I've always found it better when I'm lying flat or on the side without forcing my voice for a while so calling Zara is only gonna do me worse.

Besides, she might be leaving me. Why would she help me? She's obviously running away again.

I piece back our day and night together and I can't find any mistakes in it, we were good and I was careful the whole time. I thought through every little thing and did everything in my power to make it go alright. There's no plausible explanation.

But then again, she didn't necessarily talk to me the first time and from one moment to another she was gone, everything was gone.

I feel so pathetic for feeling like this, with that anguish tightened in my chest and causing me to stay still and preventing me from doing something but I have to properly calm down and hope for the best, she's still around.

I push the covers away from my body so my body temperature is not rising and I don't feel smothered by warmth. I lean on my side, curling in and strangely I feel how the air starts flowing to my lungs easier as the seconds go by.