tryst [sequel] // h.s

51

(a/n: hi, I made an edit and I'm in love with it)

Chapter fifty one

Zara

I remember when I was fourteen years old, which seems like a lifetime ago and a few different personalities of mine behind, several different issues in my life but the core problem remained the same until this day, I can't say no.

I was getting better but the empathetic feeling in me is bigger than the necessity for me to take care of myself, hence why I dropped everything to be by Harry's side as soon as I could.

When I was still a teenager I remember going to school and staying a few hours late so I could help Marco and Lex with the History lessons they were behind on. Then I would go back to my house, pick up my little sisters in the way and go straight to help my mum with anything she needed.

Then it would be the moment to help my sister with her beauty school application, she needed a face to practice makeup on and I couldn't gather myself to tell her no, even when the products she used had an allergic reaction on the arch of my eyebrow, really near my eye, there was no one else to help her so I couldn't say no to her.

After taking several antiallergic pills and scrub my face I would sit down and do my homework with Zayn, which always took more time than I expected because he always got so frustrated by a stupid math problem and quit it. I would do his homework so he didn't fail classes but it took a lot of time for me too.

Right after it would be my sisters asking for my help while my friends texted me right before dinner when I had to help my mum some more and sometimes my father would ask for my help too. Filing some papers he didn't have time himself and then I would go take a shower.

That was the moment in which I would be finally alone, since I was the last one to use the shower I had a lot of time to spare and I would just sit down and cry because I was so stressed out with everyone's problems. I took them as my own and their pain and struggle was my pain and struggle.

I remember that day everyone in the house for the show asked me for help until I was done and I locked myself in a closet so I could cry and Harry found me. It was the first time he ever called me love. He hugged me, kissed my forehead, and told me there was nothing wrong with saying no once in a while.

Easier said than done. This entire week I've felt back to that fourteen-year-old girl trying her best to help their family or that seventeen frightened girl that looked so confident on the outside but was slowly suffering in silence.

I had to suffer in silence for everyone else to be better, so I would feel better about myself and it destroyed me but in the end, it was worth it because I didn't know any better, I still don't.

This week I've been going out of my way to help everyone around me, even with the littlest of details, I've been trying my best so no one would feel bad and make Zayn's absence a little less noticeable but it's not like I could go up the stage and sing every one of his solos.