tryst [sequel] // h.s

42

I don't wanna touch you, I don't wanna be
Just another ex-love you don't wanna see
I don't wanna miss you (I don't wanna miss you)
Like the other girls do
I don't wanna hurt you, I just wanna be
Drinking on a beach with you all over me
I know what they all say, yeah
But I ain't tryna play

I wanna be your end game
I wanna be your first string
I wanna be your A-Team
I wanna be your end game, end game

song: end game by Taylor Swift

(a/n: not meant to be played while reading)

Chapter forty two

Zara

Don't ever scream on a moving plane.

It's not smart or convenient and it's gonna draw a lot of attention upon you. Thankfully the only people in the priority cabin were a bunch of seniors with hearing problems and a few socialites that gave me a nasty look and moved on with their lives.

The worst part was the flight attendants checking on me every fifteen minutes as I couldn't keep my eyes shut for longer than three minutes straight and the number of times they checked on me in six hours was twenty-four.

It became noticeable how after dinner they kept on showing through the hallway and I thought maybe it's their routine but they were always checking up on me, just me.

Gemma tried to explain, she really tried but I've been giving her the cold shoulder since we departed and may I tell you, is fucking hard to be mad at her, and even more when we are in a confined space locked up for six hours with a full plane of people an no other seats available.

I was ready to jump out of the plane with no parachute, then I came to the conclusion I couldn't open the door of a moving plane and I wanted to panic but guess what? It wouldn't have solved anything and it would have made my anxiety worse.

So I made a list. One that detailed every single reason why this is a bad idea and more than enough reason to why I shouldn't attend so I could give it to Gemma once we arrived but I'm still giving her the silent treatment so maybe I'll just give it to her later.

It started as a list of pros and cons until I decided I had no positive outcome of this situation so I pretty much made a cons list.

The only good outcome would be to see him after so long but what if he doesn't want to see me?

There's so much that could go wrong and knowing my luck, it will. He asked me for space and now I'm invading it. It's his birthday party and I'm his ex-girlfriend, no one wants their ex at their party.

I said I wasn't drinking and this is a 21st birthday party, there's gonna be a shit ton of alcohol, which doesn't tempt me at all. I don't want to drink and I stand by that statement, I won't.

The last time I was drunk, I forgot half of the night and I don't like it at all. Besides, if my heart keeps beating the way it's beating and ringing in my ears I will have to rely on my emergency pills which can't be mixed with alcohol so I won't take any chances.

I want to be able to control this myself and don't rely on pills, and even if it's gonna torture me a little bit, I will be doing it on my own. Even when I know there's nothing bad in taking my meds.

I concluded they wouldn't be like an emergency stop button and that they would take at least half an hour to take effect so I'm trying my best to contain things on my own.