tryst [sequel] // h.s

32

Chapter thirty two

Zara

I had the worst nightmare last night.

I dreamed that both my best friend and boyfriend betrayed my trust and lied to me about two different matters and that I ended up alone crying myself to sleep while I felt like my heart was about to give out and I was running out of air.

Then Harry came to me and calmed me down until I fell asleep again, his careful and tender touch on my hair was enough to soothe all of the soreness I had felt inside my chest. His little words of reassurance would ease down all of my fears and then he cradled me to his chest so I would be comfortable and felt safe enough to finally get some rest.

It was terrible and I remember waking up in the middle of the night with the angsty feeling tightened in my chest, preventing me from having a peaceful sleep. It was awful getting a nightmare that bad after so long but then I managed to calm down.

My nightmares have decreased over the course of the years. I don't wake up in a cold sweat, shivering in fear and lost to my surroundings anymore but last night, it wasn't the case.

I tend to have them when I'm brought down by something or feeling under the weather. Harry used to say I have them when I'm keeping secrets or simply something to myself that upsets me and I'm not ready to let out just yet.

It even happens when I get used to sleeping with him by my side and then for a couple of nights he's gone.

It's odd that I haven't had one in months and this just happened all of the sudden. I haven't been taking my sleeping pills either because I don't need them anymore but I still keep them just in case.

When Isla told me they could be a bit extreme for my night terrors I asked if it was a good idea to make an appointment and meet a psychiatrist. She encouraged my initiative and gave me the number of a specialist that she knows and trusts so I went and they prescribed melatonin and some herbal tea, but I know they are pretty much useless, at least for my anxious head so I keep the original pills safe in case of an emergency.

This reminds me I should make an appointment with my gynecologist so I can exchange my pills for a new brand. I've been taking mine for way too long and I read that it's not good to do that to your body so I might even ask her about new contraception methods but mostly to keep my period regularized.

This week is not gonna be nice, I have it cluttered with activities, meetings and I'm doing some music production at the studio as well as some collaborative writing with a few big artists that I've admired for years so at least I have that to look forward to.

As I open my eyes everything is dark and my bed feels different. My satin pillowcase is long gone and I'm resting my head on soft cotton so I smooth my hand down the mattress and I immediately get alarmed because this is not my bed.

I stretch my hand and without going too far I get my hand on the switch of the nightlight, turning it on, letting it illuminate the entire room but resulting in me groaning and squinting my eyes shut at the brightness but I recognize I'm in Harry's room at his flat.

Everything comes falling down and I realize it's not a simple dream and last night events rush to my memory like a film and I complain again, resting a hand over my eyes and turning off the lights but I'm already wide awake.

Harry is not by my side but the bed is filled with his musky and sweet scent. The sweetness from the vanilla and the bitter harshness from the tobacco, filling my nostrils as I lean to his side of the bed, lifting my knees to my chest so I can curl myself in a ball.