Family Comes First- ASOUE

Chapter 41: Fatal Ferry

*Sunny's POV*

"Welcome aboard!" Captain Sham said, showing a wicked smile filled with filthy and disgusting teeth. "I'm happy to see you, children. I thought you'd been killed when the old lady's house fell off the hill but luckily my associate told me you had stolen a boat and run away. And, Josephine, I thought you'd done the sensible thing and jumped out the window."

"I tried to do the sensible thing," Josephine said sourly," But the children came and got me."

Captain Sham smiled. "Aren't you going to say thank you, orphans?" He asked like the narcissistic bitch he was, pointing to the swirling place in the lake where our sailboat had been. "If it weren't for me, all of you would be divided up into the stomachs of those leeches."

"If it weren't for you," Violet said fiercely, "we wouldn't be in Lake Lachrymose to begin with."

"You can blame that on the old woman," he said, pointing to Aunt Josephine. "Faking your own death was pretty clever, but not clever enough. The Baudelaire fortune and the Quagmire Sapphires-and, unfortunately, the brats who come with it-now belong to me."

"Don't be ridiculous," Klaus said. "We don't belong to you and we never will. Once we tell Mr. Poe what happened he will send you to jail."

"Is that so?" Captain Sham said, turning the sailboat around and sailing toward Damocles Dock. His one visible eye was shining brightly as if he were telling a joke. "Mr. Poe will send me to jail, eh? Why, Mr. Poe is putting finishing touches on your adoption papers this very moment. In a few hours, you orphans will be the Sham Children."

I nearly gagged. I couldn't picture my last name as anything but Baudelaire. I'd always be Sunny Baudelaire unless I decided to change it myself, for one reason or another. I even yelled at him about this even though he couldn't understand me.

"When we explain that you forced Aunt Josephine to write that note," Violet said, "Mr. Poe will rip up those adoption papers into a thousand pieces."

"Mr. Poe won't believe you," Captain Sham said, chuckling. "Why should he believe five runaway pipsqueaks who go around stealing boats?"

"Because we're telling the truth!" Klaus cried.

"Truth, schmuth," Captain Sham said. We glared at him. "Truth, schmuth," he said again. "I think Mr. Poe is more likely to believe the owner of a respectable sailboat rental place, who went out in the middle of a hurricane to rescue five ungrateful boat thieves."

"We only stole the boat," Izzie said, "to retrieve Josephine from her hiding place so she could tell everyone about your terrible plan!"

"But nobody will believe the old woman, either," Captain Sham said impatiently. "Nobody believes a dead woman."

"Are you blind in both eyes?" Klaus asked. "Aunt Josephine isn't dead!"

Captain Sham smiled again, and looked out at the lake. Just a few yards away the water was rippling as the Lachrymose Leeches swam toward the Fickle Ferry. After searching every inch of our stolen boat and failing to find any food, the leeches had realized they had been tricked and were once again following the scent of banana still lingering on Aunt Josephine.

He took a step towards Josephine. "Are you going to betray me, Josephine? After all the time we spent together and all the secrets we had shared?"

"Yes!" She piped up suddenly and fiercely. "I was going to betray you, and these five children gave me the courage to do so! Ever since you have begun plaguing their lives, they have been so fierce and formidable. Again and again, escaping from your clutches! And what have I done all these years? Nothing but hide in my house. Well, enough of that. I am ready to be fierce and formidable again myself, and to face you, Count Olaf!!"

Captain Sham and his associates gasped as we children smiled proudly.

"I have had enough of your schemes! I have had enough of your plots! I have had enough of your greed and betrayal! Listen to me, Olaf, you villain, you wretch, you demon! I am going to tell you something I should have told you a long time ago..."

"And what might that be?" He asked, raising his eyebrow.

"It's 'have'!!!"

I whined in despair. She wasn't about to let him have the what-for, she was correcting his grammar!!

"What?" Captain Sham said.

"You said, 'After all the secrets we had shared', when you should have said, 'After all the secrets we have shared.' You made a serious grammatical error!"

Captain Sham glared at her. "Let me make sure I understand." He said, lighting a pipe. "You would not say, 'Josephine Anwhistle had been thrown overboard to the leeches,' because that would be incorrect. But if you said, 'Josephine Anwhistle has been thrown overboard to the leeches,' you would be alright with that?"

"Yes!!" She exclaimed, but then realized what he meant. "No!! I mean..."

"I think I finally understand the lesson." He said, and pushed her over the edge of the boat.

"Josephine!!!" The Quagmires cried.

"Aunt Josephine!!!" My siblings yelled.

"No!!!" I shouted.

Captain Sham grabbed a walkie talkie from his pocket. "Take the boat to Damocles Dock!" He shouted into it.

"Yes, boss." Emerson's very tired voice replied as the boat started moving.

"But Josephine!" Duncan exclaimed to us, rushing to the railing, but turning away as soon as he got there, realizing he did not want to see what a horrible sight would be happening down there.

"Josephine, schmosephine." Sham muttered, walking away.

"She might end up safe," Violet said hopefully. "She's wearing a life vest and she's probably a good swimmer..."

We sat on the floor of the ferry, feeling pessimistic despite Violet's hopeful words. Our feelings about Aunt Josephine were complicated. She had given us a home, even though it was cold and not hurricane-proof. She fed us, even though the food was cold and unsatisfying. She had tried to teach us, even though it wasn't what we wanted to learn. And like the five of us, she had experienced great loss. While her fear made her a bad guardian, it didn't make her a bad person. We did not think "Josephine, schmosephine," and instead we thought "We hope Aunt Josephine is okay."