Family Comes First- ASOUE

Chapter 63: Orientation

*Violet's POV*

We had ditched that psycho little bubblegum bitch, and instead went to go be on time for our meeting. We stood outside of Vice Principal Nero's door and were reluctant to go inside. I sort of assumed he'd have a horrible personality based on how shitty his violin playing was.

"Once, Mother and Father went to the symphony, and we had stayed up late to see them come home," Klaus recalled. "The first thing Father had said when he saw us was 'Children, there is no worse sound than someone who cannot play the violin and insists on doing so anyway.' At the time we had just laughed, but now..."

"Now we know he's one hundred and ten percent correct..." I added. I couldn't take it any longer and I knocked on the door.

"Who dares interrupt a genius when he's rehearsing?!?" He whined from inside, and opened the door. "What??"
"We're the Baudelaires and the Quagmires," I said. "We're new here, and we've been told we have an appointment with you."

"'We're new here, and we've been told we have an appointment with you.'" He said in a high pitched, mocking voice. "Alright, fine, come in, I haven't all day..."

Vice Principal Nero was an... Interesting looking character, I guess you could say... He was dressed in a rumpled brown suit that had something sticky on its jacket, and he was wearing a tie decorated with pictures of snails. His nose was very small and very red, as if somebody had stuck a cherry tomato in the middle of his splotchy face. He was almost completely bald, but he had four tufts of hair, which he had tied into little pigtails with some old rubber bands. His room was a mess of papers and such; the only thing that seemed clean was his mirror that had little lights around it, and his music stand.

He stared at us expectantly, making me feel uncomfortable. "How do you do...?" I asked, trying to start a conversation. Instead of answering, he started playing his violin, and part of the reason he was so bad at playing was how damaged his bow was. He was in desperate need of a new one, with all of the bow hair being absolutely annihilated. It was very difficult to not walk right out of that office, but soon he was done playing and kept looking at us like we were supposed to do something.

He sighed and explained what he wanted, I guess. "When you hear an incredible violin performance, it's tradition to clap and cheer and yell 'Bravo!'" He said.

Klaus and Izzie looked at eachother and gave Nero a sarcastic slow clap.

"Yay..." Duncan said.

"Bravo...?" I added uncomfortably.

"Thank you," he said, not acknowledging we were sort of being pricks, and went to sit down. "And welcome, new students. Blah, blah, blah blah blah. My name is Vice Principal Nero, and my second-highest concern is that you uphold the strict standards here at Prufrock."

"What's your first highest concern?"

"My career as a violinist!"

I nearly blurted out 'You should be concerned', but bit my tongue.

"I know all about you, orphans." He said. "You've been sent to guardian after guardian and adversity has always followed. Adversity means 'trouble', by the way."

"Well in our case adversity means Count Olaf..." Klaus replied. "He's the cause of all our problems."

"'He's the cause of all our problems.'" He mocked again nastily. "Here at Prufrock Preparatory School, there'll be no blaming your own weaknesses on this 'Count Olaf' person."

Nero stood up and took a sheet off of a computer and pressed two buttons on it over and over again. The screen lit up with a light green glow, as if it were seasick. "This is an advanced computer," Nero said. "Mr. Poe gave me all the necessary information about the man you call Count Olaf, and I had the AV Club program it into the computer. See?" Nero pressed another button, and a small picture of Count Olaf appeared on the computer screen. "Now that the advanced computer knows about him, you don't have to worry."

"But how can a computer keep Count Olaf away?" Klaus asked. "He could still show up and cause trouble, no matter what appears on a computer screen."

"I shouldn't have bothered trying to explain this to you," Vice Principal Nero said. "There's no way uneducated people like yourself can understand a genius like me. Well, Prufrock Prep will take care of that. You'll get an education here if we have to break both your arms to do it."

"Vice Principal Nero, we don't mean to question your... Genius," Duncan said politely, "but Count Olaf is usually in disguise, so I don't think a computer system will-"

"'But Count Olaf is usually in disguise' blah blah blah! Let me talk about the rules so I can get you out of my hair. This is the administration building you're in right now. Enter and you get your silverware taken away. There are exceptions, which are orientation appointments like these and if I call you up here. The last exception is a girl named Carmelita Spats. She's as adorable as a butterscotch buttercup! And she has two living parents." He said as if we were at fault for being orphans, and she was the farthest thing from 'adorable'.

"If you are late for class, you will have your hands tied behind your back at mealtimes and you'll have to eat like a dog! If you're late for meals, you don't get cups, and instead your drink is served in a puddle on your tray. If you don't show up for my nightly, mandatory violin recital, you owe me a bag of candy! Got that?"

"Guess so..." I answered for everyone.

"Violet and Duncan, you will be studying with Mr. Remora in Room One, and Klaus and Isadora, you will be studying with Mrs. Bass in Room Two. Can you remember that, Room One and Room Two? If you don't think you can remember, I have a felt-tipped marker, and I will write 'Room One' and 'Room Two' on your hands in permanent ink."

"We'll remember," I said quickly.

"Alright. You won't see the other one much; I imagine, and she'll work for me."

"Who? Sunny?!" I exclaimed. "What do you mean 'Work for you'?!"

"I told Mr. Poe that we would have room for a baby here, but not in a classroom. I've always wanted an administrative assistant, but there was never a budget for it. Now I have Sunny."

"You can't do that!" I said. "She's a baby!"

"This isn't fair. Surely the principal wouldn't let you do this!"

"He's long gone," Nero said. "Everyone here answers to me. Now, before you leave, do you have any more questions?"

"Where will we live?" Isadora asked.

"Well, we have a place where we put the orphans, but that tin shack is too small for all five of you, unfortunately, and Mr. Poe requested I don't separate you from eachother, so there goes the broom closet idea. We'll have to put you in one of the dorms. You must be glad to live where the normal children live. You can stop by where you got your uniforms to pick up your keys. Now off with you! You have classes to attend when the bell rings at 10:45! Genius needs his rehearsal time! I expect Sunny here at 10:30 and no later, or she'll have to have her hands tied behing her back while she eats! Get out!"

We stepped out into the hall. I felt like I had gone on the world's most baffling rollercoaster and my stomach was in knots from it.

Duncan clapped his hands together. "Now, we don't have time to unpack all of that..." He said. "Come on, if we hurry, we can get everything done and get settled into our dorm real quickly."

"Good point, Dunc. Let's go."