Family Comes First- ASOUE

Chapter 78: Offered Exercises

*Duncan's POV*

Olaf stepped out from behind the computer and grinned evilly. "See?" He said to us. He turned to the crowd. "I think this calls for a little democracy, my third favorite style of government, after none and dictatorship. How many of you want to hear more tiresome accusations hurled at an innocent man from orphans?"

"I demand this issue get further scrutiny for the sake of our fellow students!!!!" Quigley shouted from the crowd.

"Shut up, cakesniffer! Nobody cares about your opinion!"

"I should be allowed to vote, Carmelita! Investigate further!"

"And who here wants to hear about an exciting new program that's sure to blast your school spirit straight out'cha blowhole??"

The crowd started cheering wildly. I wasn't ever really a huge fan of school spirit. I was learning and seeing my friends and that was good enough to me. I never gave two shits about the school I was learning it from to be frank.

"Students! Faculty!!" Coach Genghis called to calm them down. Do not worry if every exercise program you ever tried has failed you because I am here to fail you more by putting the 'whip' back into 'whip you into shape'! Everyone get back on your feet, and we're gonna try something that I invented one night at a truckstop called jumping jacks! Y'all ready?" He started doing jumping jacks, but quickly clutched his leg. "No... No... Nevermind... Let's cool it down... Where was I...?"

"Your program?" The two white-faced women supplied.

"Oh, right," Genghis said. "As anyone who has been to junior college knows, orphans tend to have unsound bodies, which leads to paranoia, delusion, and untapped wealth. That's why I developed the Special Orphan Running Exercises, or S.O.R.E. for short, which I will be offering a few select students. Will the orphans in the house please stand up?"

Sunny stood up on her little chair, and Olivia stood up two rows behind where our seats were. Quigley looked at me, and I could tell there was worry in his eyes behind his sunglasses. I shook my head gently and he stayed seated, sinking lower in his chair.

"Okay... Okay...I choose... You two." He pointed to Violet and Klaus. "And... You two..." He pointed to my sister and me. "And the little baby secretary I heard about..."

"Admass!!!" Sunny corrected, meaning "I prefer the term 'administrative assistant'."

"The five of you will report to the athletic field at sundown tonight and every night until further notice."

"If they're being offered, that doesn't especially equate to 'mandatory', does it?" I asked. "We don't have to do them if we don't accept the offer..."

"'We don't have to do them if we don't accept the offer'," Nero mocked. "Mr. Quagmire, this is a one-of-a-kind opportunity and you're asking if it's mandatory? I really shouldn't be surprised... Of course this won't excuse you from my nightly recital. The five of you will owe me a lot of candy!"

"That's the kind of attitude I was kind-of talking about..." Genghis said. "You, sir, are a genius. Maybe not as much as me, but still a genius. This pep rally is dismissed."

"Only I can say if the pep rally is dismissed! Sit down, everyone, this instant! ... Now, the pep rally is over."

Once the crowd had cleared, we turned back to the new coach. "Whatever you're up to, Count Olaf, we will put a stop to it," Violet said.

"We won't let you hurt anyone here this time around!" Izzie added.

Olaf cleared his throat and spoke in his non-disguised voice. "It seems to me, orphans, that if you were able to stop me, you would have done it a long time ago. Your parents really have taught you nothing, have they?"

"They taught us how to survive!" Klaus defended.

"Well, you know what they say. Those who can't do, teach," Genghis said. "See you at sundown."

We couldn't find it in ourselves to speak until we arrived back at our dorm where Quigley and Sunny were waiting for us.

"He found us again!!! Everywhere we go, he shows up to steal our fortunes," Klaus fumed.

"How can he steal our fortunes as a gym teacher?!" Violet asked.

"A really crappy gym teacher!" Izzie corrected.

"There's evil lurking in those exercise programs," Quigley said. "What can I do to help?"

"We don't have a clue what his plan is yet, except something sinister in that program," I said. "I think it's best you don't outright involve yourself for now."

"Yeah, making yourself known to him could end badly," Violet agreed. "You weren't assigned the program, so we ought to use that to our advantage somehow."

"Why don't we just run away?" Quigley asked.

"We tried that and a fatal accident occurred," Isadora pointed out.

"I bet that book would have an answer," Klaus said sadly.

"Olivia said she still hasn't found it, if she even has a copy..."

"Either way, we have Special Orphan Running Exercises tonight at sundown. All in favor of skipping the recital completely instead of leaving at sundown?"